The Other White Meat

1. why is pork chop an insulting word to puerto ricans?

I’m completely stumped. Maybe because they prefer the more Español chuleta?
Maybe it’s like yelling Beetlejuice three times. If you scream “pork chop, pork chop, pork chop!” a coqui appears wearing a P.R. flag and blaring reggaeton. Not sure about insulting, but that would certainly scare the shit out of me.

Oh, thankfully I’m not the only one baffled by this and at least now I understand the context, which is even weirder. I see how Redskins could be offensive, but a pig mascot named PorkChop?

2. southeast portland super grubbin food

I was afraid that in my near decade-long absence that I’d grown out of touch with the NW consumer. Just because New Yorkers are fickle trend-seekers, doesn’t mean that the City of Roses has moved on from stoner fare. Just after I moved here, I had a wonderful idea for a Portland restaurant that would be called Totally Grubbin’. Despite being a ‘90s plan, I think it would still work. And apparently, so do hungry Googlers.

3. Is Patrick Swayze half-Filipino?

That’s a good question. I don’t think he’s stealthily low-percentage Pinoy like Rob Schneider (and my boyfriend). He does profess Apache blood, but all freaky types like to play Indian (I have half-brother who I haven’t seen since I was a toddler but last I heard he was a leather-fedora wearing bouncer with long red hair, had pet snakes and was claiming Native American heritage).

But Patrick Swayze does kind of appear where you least expect him. A million years ago there was a painting of a half-moon with a face on a Portland Safeway window on 28th and Hawthorne. I swear to god, it looked just like Patrick Swayze and I never missed an opportunity to comment on it. My mom didn’t agree; my sister didn’t either. But I know what I saw and the biggest tragedy is that digital cameras hadn’t been invented yet. So, half-Filipino? Not so sure. Half-moon? Most definitely.
4. is hank harris really retarded

For the love of god, nooo.

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