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Posts tagged ‘Small Tragedies’

Going Postal

Going_Postal I’ve grown desensitized to the lackadaisical 11231 postal antics. Magazines go missing, mail ends up on the floor instead of in the box. I was left out in the cold when everyone was chattering about the final November issue of Gourmet. Who knows what never turns up.

One inconsequential result of receiving the October 22- 28 and November 5-11, 2009 copies of Time Out New York simultaneously yesterday is that Scott Bridi, lauded as a geographically ”pioneering” chef at Lot 2 in Sunset Park has already moved on.

Maybe this is this a lesson about the ephemeral nature of print. Or maybe an example of what happens when you don’t tip postal worker during the holidays.

Big Burger, Little Burger

Adage burgers

Ad Age has a nice visual round-up of all the big burgers on the scene. Carl’s Jr.’s $6 Burger that launched in ye olde days of 2001 almost seems quaint now.

Meanwhile, I went back in time this weekend and tried a more petite Kaiser roll slider at White Rose System in Roselle, New Jersey, just one of many Garden State diners still griddle-steaming. Fortuitously, I ended up driving past another exemplary specimen in this genre, White Diamond in Clark, just a few hours after this lunch.

White rose system burger

Unfortunately, I can’t speak at length about this slider and the experience because I became inexplicably and violently sick en route to New Jersey and could only pick at my burger and crinkle cut fries. I would’ve just chalked this up to random illness if the exact same thing hadn’t happened the last time we made a Saturday afternoon New Jersey trip in early September. I’m starting to think this is a case for House M.D.

The first time this happened, I was fine until we got onto Route 1 and out of nowhere began sweating so bad my hair became soaking wet and my head started spinning. I managed to accomplish one of my shopping tasks, buying hair color at Sally Beauty Supply but had to run outside because I felt vomit coming on. I couldn’t find a place to puke so went into the nearby Wal-Mart looking for a bathroom, then became extremely dizzy and disoriented. Ultimately, we had to turn around and head the 20 miles home.

This time I started getting sweaty, dizzy and nauseous within five minutes of getting into the car, before we even got on the BQE. By the time we got to White Rose System, a good 45-minutes-later, I was burning up and my stomach was jumping around. We stopped at Walgreen’s and picked up Dramamine, all I can think is that that I have a problem with motion sickness (as I kid I got car sick constantly, not so much as an adult). After taking a few pills and sitting in a freezing car with my eyes closed for 25 minutes while James was in Trader Joe’s I perked up a bit. The rest of the day I was sleepy and had the chills but at least didn’t feel like puking. I’m still sad that I didn’t get to enjoy my slider.

The odd thing is that we drive at least once a week, all over Queens and Brooklyn, and I never get sick. It’s only been the last two times we’ve gone to New Jersey. If this happens a third time, I’m really going to be baffled. In the mean time, I’m keeping a stash of Dramamine and Tums in the glove compartment and hoping I don’t have a brain tumor.

Who Can Eat More Than Two Bowls of Pasta, Anyway?

Seafood_portofino Times are tough for a chain. Red Robin is only giving kids a two-pack of blue and red crayons now instead of the four they used to provide. Bye bye green and yellow.

And even though I know suburban chains in NYC are often disappointing and expensive, I still paid a visit to the Chelsea Olive Garden Wednesday night. I was curious if they were honoring the Never Ending Pasta Bowl promotion that lasts until the end of this week.

When this Olive Garden first opened, it was packed and waits were long. Now, the handheld beepers are getting cobwebby. No one was waiting out front or in the lobby, we were immediately seated and empty tables abounded. And they were out of everything, the advertised Oktoberfest Sam Adams, the pork marsala in the glossy tableside advertisements. A total sinking ship.

And as on my last NEPB spot check, there is no evidence of the promotion anywhere on site. When you consider that my seafood portofino (which I chose because it was one of the few pastas under 1,000 calories—I’m one of those oddballs whose ordering is influenced by calorie posting) was $20.50—what food at real restaurants cost—why they keep the Never Ending Pasta Bowl under tight wraps is obvious. When we asked about the $8.95 all-you-can-eat special, our cheery but exasperated waitress (the guy sitting directly behind me in the attached booth was giving her and his date a horrible time, total domestic abuser) just handed us her corporate cheat sheet with the list of pastas, sauces and request that servers suggest unlimited meatballs to customers for an additional $1.99. I should’ve snapped a photo—who knows when these trade secrets could come in handy?

In the meantime, I’m curious about the all-you-can-eat-pasta night in the works at Locanda Verde. I suspect it’ll be more than $8.95. Then again, you can get Spaghetti alle Vongole there for $1.50 less than Olive Garden’s seafood pasta.

For a Dollar a Day

Unemployment The shocker of this piddly Google Adsense income preventing full employment benefits tale, is not that the blogger is being victimized by New York State, it’s that a run of the mill St. Louis food blog reached the $100 threshold—the minimum amount required by Google to cut a check—in three months.

I don’t have any delusions about the popularity of my blog and have wanted to get rid of these useless Google ads for ages but wanted to wait until I got my next $100 first. For a hint at how long it takes me to rack up $100, the last time I got a payout I used the money for dinner at Momofuku Ko when the price was still $85. I am now $4.88 away from my second $100 bounty. At this rate, I will reach that by the new year. Party!

Alfresco Alterations

Primarily, I was shocked for obvious reasons upon hearing of Gourmet’s demise. It’s always been one of the more literate food magazines and with 68 years of history behind it, no less. I’ve never understood the appeal of Bon Appetit—new younger font or not—which is the same to me as Food & Wine (though I subscribe to the latter along with Saveur and Cooking Light) a little fluffy, entertaining-driven and more caught up with celebrity. I always thought of Gourmet as a glossier, less homespun Saveur, not the stuffy, elitist luxury rag some believe it to be (for me, that’s The New Yorker).

Superficially, though, I’m saddened because I really liked picking apart their frequently over-the-top alfresco photo spreads. I looked forward to what nuttiness they may have come up with each month, whether it be a forest picnic amidst discarded TVs and bric a brac or moody barefoot youths in fedoras and suspenders indulging in stone fruit pies while hammocking.

Just yesterday afternoon I was dismayed to realize I’d never received my October Gourmet (or Saveur, for that matter). I need my monthly dose of alfresco porn, though I’m quite certain that I’m the only one who was so amused by these jaunty photographs. Clearly, McKinsey was not. Those props and models don’t come cheap.

At the very least, I hope to get the final November 2009 issue. I’ve always marveled at how you can make Thanksgiving turkey seem exciting year after year.

Chicken-Fried Riblets

Newcaporal

Being a food introvert, when I a trend starts getting out control I step aside rather than jumping into the fray. Not so that I can be one of those “I’m already over it” people, but because why bother adding to the noise? Quick, I’d better step up my drinking fresh coconut juice while walking down the street game.

So, no fried chicken yapping from me. New York has a slew of fried chicken coverage this week, though. I was saddened to note that New Caporal got fifth place out of a tasting of five fast food joints. Granted, I haven’t been there in ages so maybe their handiwork has gone downhill, or maybe I’m just partial to their gun-toting chick mascot. Popeye’s came in at number one.

Also buried deep in all this fried chicken coverage is the news that Stephen Tanner, formerly of Egg and Pies and Thighs, will be bringing some chain flavor to the old Black Betty space. “Tanner says will serve bar food like Applebee’s, ‘but better.’” Williamsburg riblets!

New Caporal photo from Eating in Translation

A Case For Slow Food

What is it with Wendy’s and food-shovelers? First there was the Mormon girl who chugged her Frosty so fast she didn’t notice the engagement ring sailing down her esophagus.

Wendys spoon

Photo from AP

Now, people are inhaling plastic utensils and getting them lodged in their lungs? The explanation was simple.

“‘I'm a gulper,’ he says. ‘I gulp stuff. I always have.’”

They are not alone. Apparently, there is a whole subculture of men who competitively scarf the entire Wendy’s Value Meal in one sitting. Ok, just these guys and this gentleman.

Warm Delights

Finished product

When you’re not supposed to eat sugar, weird habits can pop up. Instead of taking the quality over quantity approach and indulging in something truly amazing on occasion, everyday junk food just starts looking more appealing.

On a late Saturday night in a Wegmans in Bridgewater, New Jersey I was drawn by the siren song of Betty Crocker’s Warm Delights. Sleazy. And only 150 calories per serving?

Clearly, molten cakes are popular with the masses. Domino’s now delivers them. Why not whip one up in the privacy of your own microwave? Convenience has its merits.

Betty crocker warm delights

I thought that you’d just pop a ready-to-heat container in the microwave. But no, you actually have to do a little mixing with hot tap water and get to squeeze caramel from a plastic packet. There’s something very Easy Bake Oven about the whole procedure.

And the end result was adequate. I wouldn’t say it was the best use of sugar and calories but if you’re a sad bikini bod obsessed Cathy who’s torn between nursing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or Warm Delights while watching Sex and the City with no swearing on TNS, the choice is obvious.

Din of a Different Sort

Tgitwitter

Even as someone who appreciates chains, I do have to side with modern Spanish gastronomy and Food & Wine's Kate Krader in this instance. Plus, who wants to align themselves with bankers, Jack Daniel's Ribs & Shrimp or not?

And Then There Were Four

Spicytripe

I completely missed Gourmet.com's Another Offal Monday series that began in June when recently surveying the sudden proliferation of organ worship on the web. So far, they have four diverse entries: Mexican tongue tacos, southern-fried sweetbreads, dim sum-style spicy tripe (pictured above) and dowdy American classic liver and onions Spanished-up with a little sherry vinegar.  I'm liking these recipes very much.

They'd better be careful, though, with all those international flavors or they're going to get more angry letters from the crackpots like Marlynn Marroso who don't want unpatriotic food in their July issues, or any issues for that matter. Who knew that adobo and black beans could muster such ire?

Oh right, we did know after all the letter-writers equating a love of tacos, pupusas and pollo a al la brasa with glorifying illegal immigration crawled out of the woodwork after Gourmet published its September 2007 Latin American food issue.