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El Corte Inglés Menú del Día

El Corte Inglés is the Macy’s of Spain, and no great shakes, I know. But beyond the obvious culinary attractions of San Sebastián, I needed more bait to get James to take a vacation (if it were up to me, I'd stay out of NYC half the year). Having a mall and a subway (TV and internet access goes without saying) are the two unspoken requirements for cities we may visit.

In the 11-and-half-years we’ve been dating (ha) Bangkok, Toronto, Montreal, Barcelona, Madrid, Shanghai, Beijing, Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong, Mexico City, Buenos Aires, Singapore and London have had both; the only exceptions being Macau, which was a Hong Kong addendum and Penang, which only had a bus system but made up for it with amazing food and a hotel abutting a shiny, air conditioned mall. Oaxaca had neither, and tellingly, I traveled there alone (though took a cab out to Plaza del Valle, where fast food and a strip mall lurked).

That San Sebastián supposedly had a Corte Inglés, helped matters. Except that it didn’t. The address listed online was nonexistent. I was totally up for finding one, though. Bilbao had one (and a metro and a lightrail, both of which we rode on a day trip. I don’t talk art, but Paul Pfeiffer’s The Saints was the best thing at the Guggenheim) but we’d already been to that more modern city, which brought up the question, “Why didn’t we stay here?” Pintxos, that's why.

Pamplona, the next biggest city, was only an hour by bus in a different direction. El corte inglés billboard

El Corte Inglés' familar font on a  billboard. The sure sign that we were getting closer to civilization.

El corte inglés pamplona

And then we waited in line for lunch, the only pile-up during the week.  Everyone loves a menú del día, the affordable workhorse midday prix fixe served in nearly all restaurants. They’re rarely exciting—so much so that I won’t document another from Bilbao’s Café Iruña—but usually good value. While waiting in the entryway between the cafeteria and El Corte Inglés' branded travel agency, I had plenty of time to plan my three courses.

I was totally going to get a hamburger because I hadn’t encountered one in Spain yet, plus it came with an egg, which seemed oddly Australian. I also spent an inordinate amount of time parsing that a rollito de primavera wasn’t some rolled arrangement of spring vegetables but a spring roll. Duh.

El corte inglés crema de calabacín

Soup is usually dreary to me, but I ordered it anyway hoping it would counteract the fries I would have next. Once again, I exposed my shoddy Spanish. Crema de calabacín, was not a squash like the orange pumpkiny calabaza I see at stores in NYC, but zucchini, which I guess is squash too.

El corte ingles salad fixings

If you order the ensalada mixta, which I did not, you get to make your own pepper-free dressing.

El corte inglés hamberguesa

Ugh, una hamburgeusa wasn’t a hamburger either. I was most definitely wasn't expecting a naked, well-done patty. At least I had the fries and egg to make up for the lack of a bun. And the pleasure of eating a regular person’s lunch instead of something Michelin-starred or smothered in foie gras. Actually, they did have foie gras and fries on the regular menu.

El corte inglés natillas I had far more trouble at this department store restaurant than any complicated pintxo bar. I saw a bunch of people eating chocolate cake at the end of their meals, but all I saw as dessert options were yogurt, sorbets, rice pudding and natillas. I thought natillas was something custardy, but ordered it anyway because it was the only thing I wasn’t 100% sure on so it could possibly be the chocolate cake. No, it was a cinnamony custard. Where did everyone get the chocolate cake?

El Corte Inglés * Calle Estella, 9, Pamplona, Spain

Baby’s First Hooters

Hooters kids menu

I only became aware of The Tilted Kilt after taking a Hunch quiz last year to guide me to the best chain restaurant. I’m still not sure why I got the scantily-clad Scottish theme.

An article in this month’s Entrepreneur explains the success of such “breastaurants.” I wouldn’t think one would need to dig further than boobs, beer and wings, but I learned a few things:

  • The menus are considered “upscale comfort food.” Nothing downscale about Gaelic Chicken (chicken breasts with a “to-die-for Irish Whisky Cream Sauce”) and Danny Boy’s Shepherd’s Pie.
  • The Tilted Kilt is not “sexy stupid or sexy trashy” but “sexy classy, sexy smart or sexy cute.”
  • Tilted Kilt servers do not “slip food to you around the corner” like at those non-sexy restaurants where waiters hide behind walls. Instead they practice “touchology.”
  • Mugs 'N Jugs is a “crass” name, not anything like Hooters or Twin Peaks.
  • At Twin Peaks, when ordering a beer you will be asked “Do you want the man size or the girl size?” Women, presumably order wine offered in three styles: red, white and pink. I don’t know who orders the G.I.L.F., described as “Grand Marnier with Raspberry. Not your typical GrandMa.”

In related news, a group of middle-schoolers ate at a Hooters as part of a Baltimore field trip. This is not the first time a field trip has shown up at Hooters, and it probably won’t be the last. Youngsters are totally welcome at breastaurants.

Kids a.k.a. Mountain Scouts eat free at Twin Peaks on Saturday and Sunday. A similar special runs at select Hooters and Tilted Kilt. Family fun.

Eaten, Barely Blogged: Atlantic City

White house sub shop subs

Clearly, my psyche is more attached to my camera than I realized. I toted along my DSLR on a two-day-jaunt to Atlantic City, then decided to leave it in the hotel room. It’s just Atlantic City. Three nights in a row I had bad dreams involving not having a camera when I needed one or the camera not working when I pushed the button. (Objects that demanded photographing were dead horse-dinosaur creatures piled high as a mountain on the side of the road and a ‘70s home movie projected onto a wall that supposedly featured the dead dad of a friend. This friend does not have a dead dad in real life and I doubt he looked like Tom Selleck in a lumberjack shirt.)

White house sub shop duo

White House Sub Shop: Ok, I did take photos because they make a handsome sandwich, which I’ve blogged about before. It’s always weird when I return someplace six years later and end up ordering the exact same thing, but it happens all the time. The youngish counter guys were ribbing me: “No photos! You’re going to steal our secrets.” I couldn’t tell if they were serious or not at first because the waitresses are of the sourpuss, no-nonsense school who just might spazz on cameras. There are an awful lot of rules plastered on the walls. The cheesesteaks are kind of odd, served sub-style with lettuce, tomato and pepper relish, provolone by default. No one should go to Atlantic City, though, and pass up the White House Special; a slab of salami, ham and provolone folded slightly and stuffed awkwardly into a length soft Italian bread. What's pictured is only a half. A whole might kill you.

Dock’s Oyster House: We enjoyed a reasonably priced seafood tower with raw oysters and clams, mussels, half a lobster tail, claw, ceviche and lump crab meat chunks. The panko-crusted soft-shell crabs served on field greens (their wording) was my attempt at limiting carbs despite the breading. As is often the case when traveling anywhere, a Brooklyn couple ended up sitting right next to us. How do I know they were from Brooklyn? Because the female was lamenting the crowd at Brooklyn Bowl. Not a fan of hipsters nor people in their late 30s-to-early-40s. I don’t think there’s even anyone that old in Williamsburg, which only led me to believe that they must’ve been younger than they looked (the boyfriend was balding; she had a mild New York accent, which always makes someone seem older). She whipped out a point-and-shoot for her banana cream pie. I don’t want to be that person.

Borgata Buffet: My first-ever casino buffet. I don’t think I’m a snob. I’d flat-out deny it. But occasionally something horribly pretentious will come out of my mouth. Something like, “This doesn’t really compare to the InterContinental buffet in Hong Kong.” Don’t get me wrong; the prime rib and ham carving stations, waffles, eggs benedict, fried chicken, piles of bacon and so on were exactly what I was expecting in NJ for $26, and I got beyond my money’s worth even if I felt sick for hours afterward. If you want imported Spanish cheeses and jamón instead of cheddar cubes and lunch meat and lobster, sashimi, foie gras and unlimited champagne instead of baked salmon, little piles of shrimp with cocktail sauce and juice, you can pay three times more and spend a day on a plane. It’s up to you.

Chelsea Prime: Steakhouses rarely make it onto my itinerary—the last was Wolfgang Puck’s Cut in Vegas over New Year’s Eve—but it must be done if dining in a casino town. The biggest twist on the menu was having tater tots offered as a side. Tots mean a lot to me. What?! Tater Tots is a proper noun? I learn something every week from The New York Times restaurant review. Shocking because I’m from the Ore in Ore-Ida. I still have the remainder of my bone-in rib eye waiting at home in the fridge, but don’t know if I can eat something so meaty without air conditioning.

Oyster Creek Inn: I wanted waterside dining, but this was more swampside. I’m still feeling the bug bites. Most people eat fried seafood like the crabcake sandwich, but I was curious about the advertised specialty called Crab Norfolk, which turned out to be a pile of buttery lump crab meat seasoned with Old Bay served naked on a styrofoam plate with a lemon wedge. Three Yeunglings in a plastic cup weren’t enough to delude me into believing I was at the Maryland shore (where I wanted to be eating fat blue crabs). That will have to wait unitl July.

Etxebarri

Chiseled Basque mountains, country roads hidden from global positioning systems, fields of shaggy sheep, old men in berets? Too postcard perfect. And to eat an unadorned cast of sea creatures, their essence sullied by little more than salt, butter and charcoal smoke? More simple perfection. Maybe too much so.

Etxebarri parking lot

I wasn’t convinced that Etxebarri was for me. Do you think I talk about chain restaurants and all of their cheese-smothered, common denominator glory because I’m being ironic? No, I need the grotesque in my life, and by grotesque I mean greatness. I’m also confused.

Sheep in axpe

It doesn’t seem right for me to deride Americans’ blind obsession with Italy and all the Tuscan trappings while allowing for faux stone farmhouses and never ending bowls of pasta in the suburbs. I hate our fixation with old world charm. When everyone agrees on what natural beauty is—A grassy rolling hill? A vineyard at sunrise?—it becomes a cliché.

Next you start travertining up your suburban home, installing a wrought iron wine rack and putting up wallpaper borders painted with clusters of grapes. Mass produced facsimiles cloud what was appealing about the original in the first place and it all starts seeming tainted.

Now, I have a hard time with genuine Italian landscapes because it makes me think of Olive Garden. Yes, the Olive Garden that I occasionally enjoy. Like I said, I’m confused.

Etxebarri facade

Luckily, there isn’t a mainstream fetishization of Spanish culture in the US—at least not beyond calling anything served on something smaller than a dinner plate, tapas. When I stand in a courtyard in Axpe and stare at  a whitewashed stone facade, I don't think Vegas casino or Cheesecake Factory (maybe a little Swiss chalet).

But of course, Extebarri, an asador famous (even my mom knew it from No Reservations, which I thought she wasn’t watching anymore because she thought Tony was arrogant) for chef  Victor Arguinzoniz’ mastery of smoke—and its hard to get to location between San Sebastián and Bilbao—is no facsimile. It’s also all that it was cracked up to be.

Etxebarri chorizo

We’d been gorging on various chorizos from a fancy deli near our apartment; little spicy ones, fat vinegary ones, but none of the cured sausages were as soft and balanced as the three fork-and-knife slices we were served as an introduction.

Etxebarri goat butter

The thick slab of smoked goat’s milk butter, the creamiest cream mixed with full-on barnyard funk and campfire, was almost overpowering at first. Rich, sooty and caprine with only a few paper-thin slices of mushroom for diversion, this was possibly the most decadent treat I’ve encountered, no truffles, foie gras or gold leaf necessary.

Etxebarri gambas

Palamós prawns, mine with one feeler that unfurled a half-foot off of the plate, were spot-on. I pulled the head from the body before thinking to suck the head and had to salvage the rush of smoked, buttery liquid with a hunk of rustic bread. I could make a whole meal (a very expensive meal) out of these meaty crustaceans. These were a highlight.

Etxebarri baby octopus

The octopus were small where the prawns were mighty. Grilled, but not charred, the little creatures were served in a straightforward manner with only a little smudge of ink for reference. I’ve seen other write-ups where there was an accompanying onion jam, but all I remember was the naturally sweet flesh, no extra sweetness.

Etxebarri shaved mushrooms, egg yolk

Wild Saint George’s mushrooms formed a tuft atop of a perfectly runny egg yolk (I can’t tell you how many times in recent history I’ve been served a way too stiff yolk—ok, twice, both in Brooklyn). Despite the egg’s brightness, this was a very quiet dish, a respite course. I don’t recall what was listed on the menu, but I imagine these were hongos. I’d asked my Madrileño Spanish teacher before my trip whether they used seta or hongo in Spain and he said seta. Of course, hongos abounded on every menu in San Sebastian and sat whole, big as a baby’s head in baskets on countertops. I’m not sure if this is because the Basque region is crazy for wild mushrooms or that my teacher isn’t really into food—I mean, he eats soyrizo.

Etxebarri pea soup

Pea soup showcased more spring produce and was smokier from wood than ham. Ok, there was a tiny wisp of jamón lurking the green puree. And of course, a flower.

Etxebarri angulas

Angulas, not the imposter gulas seen in grocery stores and on pintxos, were buttery, slippery with an unexpected crunch like firm fish noodles. I tried looking for their microscopic eyes to remember they were actually eels.

Etxebarri sardine

No eyes on the plump, headless sardine. The oiliness was cut by the handful of arugula.

Etxebarri txuleta

Even though full—little things always add up—I knew the chuleta was coming and was excited for a hunk of meat. I’d been anticipating its arrival after seeing family-sized versions of it on the tables of large groups of Spanish-speakers who’d ordered a la carte (which isn’t a bad idea if you’ve been once and already did the tasting to know what you like most).  I don’t know that there’s such a thing as a doggie bag in Spain, or Europe in general (it seems to be ok in Asia and Latin America), a bolsa de perro? (Bolsa para perros, which is what you get if you Google bolsa de perro,  is something very different.) So, the medium-rare-verging-on-rare (beware, done meat-lovers, you’re not asked) slices of aged beef had to all be eaten on the spot. A super-vinegary side salad helps revive the appetite. We discreetly tried to get all the fatty, charred remainders clinging to the bone without resorting to using our hands and gnawing. Those are the best bits.

Etxebarri lemon custard

A lemony custard, supremely eggy, sugar powdered, and possibly the only non-smoked dish.

Etxebarri smoked milk ice cream

Can you smoke ice cream? Of course you can. The innocent-looking scoop of vanilla hit with an ashy background and berry (blackberry?) sauce made me think that s’mores might be good with a smudge of fruity jam.

Etxebarri rainy courtyard

The only rainstorm of the week hit when we were inside.

I thoroughly enjoyed the blast of nature and purity, in fact, it might’ve been the most memorable meal of all from this week in Spain, but I still made (ok, he wanted to go too) James pull over the rental car at Eroski, a massive supermarket, in a small town right before the highway on-ramp. It was time to cram-in some less picturesque culture.

Etxebarri * Plaza San Juan, 1, Axpe, Spain

Mugaritz

I’ve put off writing about the Michelin-starred portion of my now-ancient-seeming vacation (I already need another one!) because, honestly, if you follow restaurant blogs to any degree and even casually keep up on Spanish cuisine, you’ve probably seen countless versions of these photos before (I just chanced upon a stranger’s fresh Mugaritz batch this morning via vias on Twitter) and probably captured with more finesse. Maybe you’ve seen the potatoes that look like rocks or the haystack out front near the parking lot or maybe shots of a blogger in the pristine kitchen at Mugaritz (I didn’t ask—that’s just something nice they do). I was here, I ate this, I did this! Me too.

Mugaritz entrance

Who knows the motivations that drive the mortals paying out of their own pockets to travel to far-flung destinations, snap photos and post their uninfluential impressions online. Are they showing off, bragging? Sharing knowledge, being servicey? As the I Ate At El Bulli Pieces build to a crescendo (men named Adam are now helicoptering in? By the way, have you ever seen an IAAEBP  not written by a man? ) I can’t fault a single non-Heather Graham (is Spain considering her a VIP like Hasselhoff being big in Germany?) for wanting to document and capture a memorable dining experience, despite the lack of vintage Dom Pérignon (at least none of the last call at El Bulli missives referred to it as champers, ugh) and five dozen courses. Mugaritz may not be El Bulli–and it doesn't need to be–but common folk should also be able to indulge in blathering on about their trips to Spain. Me, I like to dork out on food.

Mugaritz dining room

And not all food bloggers and Chowhounders are starry-eyed. Mugaritz is the most polarizing of the San Sebastián upper tier. That many say the service and atmosphere trumps the food, had me a little nervous. Yes, the cooking is far more conceptual than Extebarri and even more so than at Arzak, where experimental techniques are also employed (a little more playfully), but anyone with the means to do so  should certainly experience Andoni Luis Aduriz’s food first-hand. At least once. Once might be enough for most. I would go back for a different season, if I lived closer by.

Mugaritz kitchen

I went in a little blind, not scrutinizing Flickr beforehand or knowing much about the philosophy. I’m paraphrasing a bit but when given the kitchen tour a third of the way through the meal by one of the chefs, Oswaldo, he explained that they were “focusing on texture,” a worthy sense to explore and one less prized in the West unless we’re talking about popcorn and potato chip crunch—Americans love crunch.  In parts of Asia, people enjoy the crackle of cartilage and fried bones, slipperiness of noodles and the mucilaginous quality of fermented soy. 

At Mugaritz texture wasn’t being completely favored over taste, but prioritized to some degree. In fact, I was a little surprised to hear that they don’t use local produce, but cross the French border and shop at markets in Saint-Jean-de-Luz where the vegetables are smaller, better textured and the flavor concentrated. Despite a penchant for morphing  ingredients, Mugaritz is very about nature. Once I realized this approach, my expectations shifted for the remainder of the meal and gave me a different perspective on what I had already eaten.

Mugaritz cards

You’re given the option to submit or rebel. I wonder how much the menus vary because everyone seems to rebel. “150 minutes to feel embarrassed, flustered, fed up. 150 minutes of suffering,” you’re warned. When all of the amuses started arriving at once, willy-nilly with hard to catch explanations, some in English, some in Spanish (I took the suggestion of not seeing the menu ahead of time so everything would be a surprise) we joked, “It’s working–they are trying to fluster us!” I’m high-strung, so it doesn’t take much.  But really, a tableful of treats to start has been the modus operandi at most modern Spanish restaurants I’ve dined at, not the one-by-one procession I've encountered in the US. This is when you can sit back and sip your aperitif; cava, non-vintage, if you’re me.

Mugaritz piedras comestibles

Piedras comestibles. The edible rocks with a kaolin (an edible clay, which I ate twice in this week, oddly–or maybe not for San Sebastián. I only knew what it was because a million years ago when I visited my sister after she first moved to the UK, I noticed an over-the-counter anti-diarrheal called kaolin and morphine. Did I just whet your appetite?) shell. These are served with an aioli for dipping and they’re sitting in a pepper mixture, probably the only pepper I encountered the whole spice-phobic week. Weirdly, these did not taste super-potato-like but kind of bland. Maybe it’s those French low-flavor vegetables at work.

Mugaritz cerveza de legumbres tostadas, tapa de olivas y albuias con tomillo

Cerveza de legumbres tostadas, tapa de olivas y alubias con tomillo. The warm “beer” made from toasted chickpeas and olives crafted from beans (for those who’ll never taste Adrià’s famous spherefied green olives) set the tone. The temperature and earthy, mealiness messed with the expected cold and yeasty, briny tastes.

Mugaritz cristal de almidón y azúcar manchado con praliné y coraels del buey de mar

Cristal de almidón y azúcar manchado con praliné y corales del buey de mar. I immediately started losing track of what was what—was this real sea urchin or “sea urchin?”—and stopped over-analyzing. Crackly and sweet like uni candy, I tried to enjoy the arrangements of the food as they were, not a puzzle.

Mugaritz focaccia de almidón de pueraria a la parilla

Focaccia de almidón de pueraria a la parilla. Brittle, crackle-bread skeleton, grilled and made of a powdered herb called pueraria. I don’t know what the tomato-y swipes were. Maybe a little challenging in its plainness.

Mugaritz el verdor de guisantes lágrima animado con acederas rojas y mascarpone

El verdor de guisantes lágrima animado con acederas rojas y mascarpone. Rice krispie peas without much distraction from the listed mascarpone.

Mugaritz soup progression

Sopa de mortero con especias, semillas, caldo de pescados y hierbas frescas. This broth epitomized Mugaritz for me. It was certainly some crunchy soup. Interactive dishes are tricky—how long should I pound this stuff before we move on to the next step? Sesames in your teeth, blasts of pink peppercorn, slightly bitter herbs so prominent, I barely even noticed the fish broth after it was poured. Flavor and texture.

Mugaritz shhh...muerdete la lengua

Shhh…muerdete la lengua. Ok, I do like puzzles even though I said above that I was trying to take everything at face value too. But in this case, we were told to guess the secret ingredient. Something beefy? Indeed, cow tongue had apparently been, cooked then pulled apart strand by strand (I would never have the patience to stage at a restaurant) and dried into floss. I’m crazy about meat floss, though I like mine fried, Thai-style full of chiles and shredded lime leaves. This was more purist, a little Brillo-y and it even had the dreaded flowers, while the predominant flavor was roasted garlic hidden inside the bramble. But when thinking back to Mugaritz over the course of a week, this is the dish that always came to mind first. Pretty, kind of grotesque, fanciful. I wouldn’t want to eat an entire meal of compositions like this, but I appreciated the diversion.

Mugaritz potaje meloso de pan cubierto de carne de buey de mar y geránio rosa

Potaje meloso de pan cubierto de carne de buey de mar y geránio rosa. I was not crazy about this one. Yes, yes, I’ve admitted my baby-ish aversion to flower petals in my food, but it’s purely a visual mental block. This soup, though, was completely perfumed with geranium, much worse than actually seeing petals. The shredded crab mixed with hunks of soggy torn bread created a white, floral sludge that was hard to finish. I can’t fawn over everything, right?

Mugaritz potaje de avellanas con nácar

Potaje de avellanas con nácar. Similar to boiled peanuts, but hazelnuts with crispy pearlescent candy. I would not call this a potage.

Mugaritz lomo de merluza servido en un jugo lechoso de brotes de coles estofadas

Llomo de merluza servido en un jugo lechoso de brotes de coles estofadas. From here the dishes started veering more into what I’d call food food, rich, little, elegant bowlfuls. I’m not sure what cabbage shoots are, but they were as mild as the hake

Mugaritz láminas de entrécula, emulsión de carne asada y cristales de sal

Láminas de entrécula, emulsión de carne asada y cristales de sal. A petite cut of beef from around the kidneys, the opposite of the region’s beloved txuleta, was served with an emulsified grilled meat butter that ranks right up there with Etxebarri’s smoked goat’s milk butter.

Mugaritz ossobuco royal trabado con aceite de bogavante tostado

Ossobuco royal trabado con aceite de bogavante tostado. That would be ossobuco in quotes. I originally thought this was bone marrow, but it might be tendons. Whatever the silky nuggets may be, they’ve been cooked down to a hyper-concentrated, gelatinous state and flavored with lobster oil. This is where bread comes in handy.

Mugaritz rabito de cerdo ibérico, hojas crocantes y aceite de semillas tostadas

Rabito de cerdo ibérico, hojas crocantes y aceite de semillas tostadas. The pig’s tail had been distilled to the point of two textures: opposites: gooey and crisp. Each bite pure pork. I have seen other photos of this dish with crackers on top. Maybe it’s better in its purest state?  Another surprising thing we were told when in the kitchen earlier on was that we should feel free to voice any dislikes ahead of time (I would never say flowers, though I might think it) to let them know if we wanted more of something or another course. That seemed kind of outrageous to me like when my stepsister once asked for more mushrooms on her schnitzel at The Rheinlander (she got them). I wouldn’t feel right about it, but this would be the dish for sure. I could just be an gelatinous-umami maniac because the preceding dish had the same appeal. Of course, at this point you’re not really hungry for double-portions of anything.

Mugaritz brioche helado de vainilla con agua de cebada

Brioche helado de vainilla con agua de cebada. Definitely more of a fluffy snowball than a brioche. I did not really notice the barley.

Mugaritz crema fria de limon con nabo encurtido en azucar no dulce

Crema fria de limon con nabo encurtido en azucar no dulce. White was the theme for desserts. This was lemony and served with what I thought was jicama but I’m now seeing was daikon. They both have that similar neutral crunch that could work in a dessert.

Mugaritz cucurucho de flores y clavos

Cucurucho de flores y clavos. Flowers, ice cream and chocolate nails stuck into a box of chocolate dirt. It was interesting that they contrast the delicate with the utilitarian at the meal’s end. Arzak also has a send-off array of bonbons that includes candy nuts and bolts.

Mugaritz patio

Afterward, lunchers retired to the still-sunny patio for coffee or a glass of cava—and a cigarette, the tell-tale sign that you may be surrounded by food-travelers, but not Americans.

Full set of Mugaritz photos.

Mugaritz * Otzazulueta Baserria. Aldura Aldea, 20, San Sebastián, Spain

 

Indecent Proposal

.top.chef

I'm no TV recapper and I'm certainly not going to start now (especially since the Top Chef Masters episode in question aired nearly a full week ago). But what? A surprise marriage proposal meal (for a woman whose favorite foods are salad and pretzels and has never shellfish? At last that's what I think she said–I wasn't really paying attention because I was imagining all the places a diamond ring could be stashed) They could’ve at least made up for subecting viewers, i.e. me to such pap by going full-on cheese and HIDING THE RING IN THE FOOD. Has everyone become tasteful all of a sudden? Even IHOP let me down. Oh, and she said, yes, by the way.

The Dutch

The Dutch, with its new lunch menu, seemed like the perfect candidate for my sporadic effort (Má Pêche was the first) to eat more real lunches instead of lentil soup, dried seaweed and water at my desk. Dreary.

The dutch cocktails

Cocktails beat water coolers anytime. The Aviation Royale, which wouldn’t have been out of place on New York’s lineup of rainbow drinks, tweaks the standard gin, crème de violette (Yvette, in this case) and lemon by adding sparkling Vouvray for fizz. I wasn’t double-fisting, hence, I don’t recall the name of gingery cocktail on the right—it doesn’t match any of the descriptions from their online menu.

The dutch cornbread

A baby loaf of jalapeño cornbread and butter sets the tone: American, homespun, a little spicy.

The dutch barrio tripe

Tripe and Fritos may be the new pickled tongue and soda crackers, marrying organ meats with a more familiar staple. Brooklyn Star with their tripe chili and The Dutch now with Barrio tripe, are both tapping into a Tex-Mex canon, heavier on the Mex. The tender, stewed meat topped with chopped avocado, radishes, white onion and those corn chips tasted like an open-faced taco.

The dutch asparagus

Of course, The Dutch is not strictly Southwestern. The asparagus in a curry-kaffir lime sauce and crushed peanuts was as light as the tripe was heavy. We needed a vegetable. Maybe I’m just coming down off of my post-vacation seared-foie gras-for-$5 San Sebastián high, but isn’t $14 a lot of money for a dish of asparagus, Jersey asparagus, or any asparagus? Ok, maybe German white asparagus that has been flown in straight from the soil?
The dutch sloppy duck

The sloppy duck sandwich may be a little messy but it isn’t a minced, saucy Manwich affair. Instead, the dark meat remains chunky and is flavored like a banh mi with hits of sriricha heat, salty fish sauce and lemongrass brightness. And more crushed peanuts. The minted cucumber salad that accompanied the sandwich was refreshing, but I nipped that nod to health right in the bud with a side order of fries. I could tell from the plates sitting on the tables to my right and left that these were going to be real, thin, double-fried beauties, an anti-steak fry.

One fried item was plenty, which meant I had to forego the fried chicken that’s only served at lunch and late night. A return visit wouldn’t be out of the question because the pie selection—coconut cream and lemongrass?—could also stand some exploring. I’ll just refrain from the asparagus next time.

The Dutch * 131 Sullivan St., New York, NY

 

La Cuchara de San Telmo

La Cuchara de San Telmo and Zeruko were the only pintxo bars I visited twice. The variety of food demanded it and both left me with the feeling that I didn’t get an adequate initial experience due to the bodies-to-open-space ratio. During the first La Cuchara excursion on a Sunday afternoon, we had to squeeze and hover until a ledge opened up and then instantly felt the pressure to free up our space (this is what it normally looks like inside). It’s a popular place.

La cuchara de san telmo facade

On a Tuesday night, though, the narrow room was practically empty. We weren’t even hungry, but had to seize the opportunity luxuriate in the relatively open space. It was just us and a motley crew of European men speaking to each other in heavily accented English about how horrible American food is because one of them was taken to a Southern restaurant where he was served fried alligator that was flavorless with batter thicker than the meat. But did it taste like chicken? More than once I overheard Europeans speaking in English about Americans customs. Of course our food isn’t all fried, but yeah, at most non-upscale restaurants the check will be brought before you ask for it.

La cuchara de san telmo foie con jalea de manzana

Foie con compota de manzana. Simple, seared foie gras with apple jelly and plenty of coarse sea salt. For 3,6 Euros? This dish sums up San Sebastián’s affordable luxury.

La cuchara de san telmo vieira toro envuelta en tocineta de bellota

Vieira “toro” envuelta en tocineta de bellota. I goofily pride myself on my Spanish food vocabulary (not my conversational skills, definitely not those). I know the words for mussels, clams, razor clams, langoustine, lobster, shrimp, soft-shell crab, crab, many fish, and spider crab and cod cheeks in Basque…ok, I’ll stop, but I had never heard the word for scallops. I just chose vieira because I liked the toro in quotes and figured it would be something playful. Um, and I could parse that there would some sort of ibérico bacon involved. Yes.

La cuchara de san telmo oreja de cerdo caramelizada

Oreja de cerdo ibérico salteada y crujiente. I will always order a pig’s ear anything if available. Spanish and Filipino preparations always get the gooey/crisp thing right, though I had never encountered an entire ear served whole like a steak. Usually, I see this cut sliced into chunks or ribbons. Maybe it’s just to disguise its original origin?

La cuchara de san telmo pulpo salteado con hojas de berza asada

Pulpo salteado con hojas de berza asada. Ok, I learned another word: berza. I hadn’t expected any cabbage on my pintxos. Charring the octopus and sautéing the greens turned both kind of sweet.

La cuchara de san telmo canelón casero de carnes de cocidos

Canelón casero de carnes de cocidos. Boiled meats doesn’t make this filled pasta tube sound so attractive, but you know it’s not going to taste like gray shoe leather. I chose it because I only wanted something small (this was on the already-full-of-foie-moriclla-and-suckling pig second spontaneous visit). One useful thing that I noted after being able to get an unobstructed view of the menu, was that you can order any pintxo as a ración, which would be entrée-sized in the US (we’re the only weirdos who call the main dish an entrée—it seems like everyone else in the world uses that for appetizers) or half that. Maybe you’d like a whole plate of canelónes?

La Cuchara de San Telmo * Calle 31 de Agosto, 28, San Sebastián, Spain


Munto

Munto isn’t a bar you read about on blogs or in travel articles. It’s “regular” (pronounced in the way I can’t do: reg quickly with a rolled R, then goo lar). I popped in because it wasn’t unbearably crowded, but not in a warning sign, stay away manner. (Never mind, that as soon as I scored a stool, a group stumbling, singing–Euro sports fans, always with the chanting–soccer celebrants took over.)

Munto interior

The selection of pintxos on the counter were workhorse, and more representative of what you might see in a corner bar in any neighborhood, which meant bocadillos, lots of things stacked on bread like at Casa Senra and plenty of room temperature mayonnaise. The amount of chopped seafood bound by the eggy emulsion sitting for hours at a time would likely violate NYC health codes, and maybe common decency.

Munto jamon, sun-dried tomato, brie & shrimp salad pintxos

We’re probably just prudes because my chopped pork  pintxo topped with sliver of jamón was good (and that wasn’t just txakoli clouding my judgment). The jamón, sun-dried tomato, brie and oregano wasn’t bad either.

Munto jamon, egg, pimiento pintxo

Tiny fried eggs (quail?) were also commonly found as garnish, this one covering pimiento and more jamón. I’ve considered throwing a pintxo party (everyone's invited!) especially since I have a slew of recipes from Pintxos de Vanguardia a la Donostia to work with. But honestly, I would probably end up putting together something like this, not the poached quail egg lollipop with baby eels from Zeruko.

Munto facade

Munto * Calle de Fermin Calbeton, 17, San Sebastián, Spain

La Cepa

La Cepa is the worn, wood-accented type of bar that just seems wrong free of cigarette smoke haze. You don't acheive that dusty patina overnight.

La cepa facade

People just smoke in the doorway, anyway.

La cepa bar

I did wonder what years of indoor smoking must have done to all of those hanging hams.

La cepa jamón de jabugo

I only tasted bursts of pure porkiness, more meaty than saline and smoothed by fat, in these slices—a media ración—of jamón Jabugo.

You won’t find dazzling culinary stunts at La Cepa. Sometimes you need a rest. We’d already spent Saturday afternoon standing and sampling pintxos and weren’t in a mood for any cerebral hours-long tasting menus, so we returned to La Cepa simply to sit down for bit and enjoy simple homestyle food. This is not a complaint, but it’s easy to fall victim to palate (and foot and stomach) fatigue on a trip like this. A similar thing happens in S.E. Asia; after a few nights and days of street food and hawker stalls in appetite-killing heat, you just want to absorb some air conditioning indoors for a meal or two. Comfort over exploration.

La cepa ensalada mixta

Ensaladas mixtas, I learned, are more than just tossed lettuce and tomato. Olives and  hunks of oil-cured tuna make it more of a meal salad. You are provided with oil, vinegar and salt to create your own dressing, but never pepper. I wonder what peppermill sales look like for Spain compared to the US.

La cepa callos

Callos aren’t Basque at all, but I was feeling like tripe instead of some of the larger beef and fish dishes that were on the menu. The blubbery, spongy ribbons were braised in a tomato-based sauce, thickened naturally by collagen, plain as that. Some recipes call for morcilla or chorizo, but this version had no more than a few bits of jamón—La Cepa is a hammy place, after all—to complement the organ meat.

La cepa magras

Neither of us knew what magras were, but James ordered it anyway. It turned out to be a cazuela of ham and eggs really; long slices of jamón and three (yes, three) poached eggs floating around in a tomato sauce that didn’t taste like the callos despite similar appearances. 

La cepa dining room

The back dining room (the bar was full of Spanish speakers glued to the big Real Madrid- Barça matches) was clearly for tourists, though not a trap. However, it was the only place I experienced big groups of stereotypical Midwesterners, two tables at opposite ends of the room filled with balding men in khakis and belt-clipped phones, who appeared to be in town for business, not gastronomy. I preferred the young Latino-looking (are there short, brown Spaniards?) couple who’d moved on from their bottle of Cava to shots. How do you say p.d.a. en español?

La Cepa * Calle 31 de Agosto, San Sebastián, Spain