Posts from the ‘What’s In Store’ Category

A Study in Beef

I'm not one inclined towards the visual. I always think words first, but admittedly, I do enjoy store photos. Yes, I actually like looking at grocery store interiors for fun. Here are some lovely shots of my favorite NYC food shop (Balducci's, my ass).

Believe it or not, these ma and pa potatoes just appeared last month. I wonder what kind of person would create such a thing.

Watch out for the cavalcade of wieners spilling forth.

I don?t know that the typical Western Beef customer demands skinless drumsticks. The big box of frozen White Castle burgers peeking from the left is more like it.

Dulce de leche and Whoppers flavored syrups? Crazy.

That's a heck of a lot of mini Welchito cans in the distance.

You don't have to have an SUV to shop here.

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Talented and Gifted

I was on a mission to find my sister a sure-to-be-belated birthday present (it was the day before her birthday and she lives in the U.K.). But shopping for others always morphs into buying for yourself.

I did pick up a skinny package of those colorful screen printed Choxie squares and a Nerds Valentine's set for her. But the rest of her gift would have to wait.  I went in with no intentions of buying for myself, yet walked out with:

Clothing: Luella Bartley polo with appliqud cherries on the chest and cutesy sweater with patchwork birds (I guess I'm appliqu crazy). Food: Hello Kitty Pop Tarts in "meow berry" and Choxie Aztec Thin bar with cinnamon and ancho chile (you can't really taste the chile). Housewares: ceramic faux bamboo dishes that match a similarly patterned vintage tablecloth I bought off ebay last year that totally out-Jonathan Adlers Jonathan Adler. 

Target * 8801 Queens Blvd., Elmhurst, NY

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Wubba Wubba

Yes, TJ rumors have been swirling for months. And now it's finally official via their website and the paper of record.

I think I would've been more thrilled about this first NYC appearance a few years ago when James still lived next to the Palladium dorms (it's frightening to think that these freshman were likely born the same year that Club MTV debuted–1987, if you need me to do the math). But I've become so acclimated to the New Jersey Trader Joe's experience that I know I won't have the patience for the initial novelty-seeking mobs and undergrads going nutso over cheap soy cheese and frozen chimichangas.

I don't recall Trader Joe's piping in music at all, but maybe if we're lucky they'll play a little Taylor Dane or Jodi Watley just for old times' sake.

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Courtly Love

Can you call yourself a mall if you don't even have a food court? James and I rarely have tagalongs during our suburban raids, so having two friends in tow was a rare treat. While we were mixing things up, we thought we'd try a new mall too.

It was a little hairy because the weather turned icy that morning and for some asinine reason, they'd roped off all outdoor parking lots. So, every Lexus and BMW SUV in Essex County were vying for spots in the covered woefully inadequate garage.

  I guess this is a classy mall. But Paramus also has Tiffany, Gucci and Legal Seafood, yet has no qualms about letting them rub shoulders with Orange Julius and Spencer's Gifts. Not so, Short Hills. We wanted a snack (before going wild at Chevys later) and were relegated to a packed Au Bon Pain.

They have these demented modern lounge areas scattered throughout the center, but no food or drink is allowed. Just weird fucks watching crackling fires on television screens. The pretense is odd since the skeleton of the mall is classic '70s, angular planters, tiles that creep up from the floor and cover modular benches, and art like a crazy numeral pile that filled me with glee. They've gussied up the offerings with an Apple Store, Sub-Zero Wolf, Appliance Studio and an Anthropologie. But the place so wants to populated with Sears and Dress Barn.

I didn't end up buying a single thing, but that's never the point with me.

The Mall at Short Hills * Route 24 & JFK Parkway, Short Hills, NJ

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Under der Linden

The Linden Target is along this peculiar corridor of US 1-9 that's teeming with cheap motels (and a few adult book stores) but it's not too shabby either. Heck, it still beats the Brooklyn Atlantic Center. I certainly came away with a nice haul.

  Apparently, I like purple shirts with ruffles, as I bought a blousy version and tee shirt styled one. I also picked up a simple gray pleated skirt (which reminds me that I forgot to mention the best part of my otherwise blah post-Christmas Target excursion. What might be my best find of 2005: the Isaac Mizrahi woodgrain skirt. I love, love woodgrain and first got into it in late 2004 when I saw some guy's house featured in an issue of Budget Living [that I can't seem to find despite skimming Aug '04 to Jan '05] who'd carpeted his stairs in a comical woodgrain pattern.  I became obsessed with finding woodgrain carpet, and discovered that PB Teen had area rugs, which became a Christmas 2004 gift. I could've killed for something upholstered in Todd Oldham for La Z Boy green iridescent woodgrain, but I didn't/don't have the expendable income. [Didn't that Soho location open last week? We had to trek out to Wayne, NJ to view fabric samples last year. And I just noticed the "novelty" fabrics aren't on the website anymore] Since fall 2004 I got woodgrain pillows from Fred Flare, woodgrain fabric from ebay that I use as a table cloth, woodgrain sheets from Urban Outfitters and today I received my woodgrain iPod skin in the mail) Loreal HiP lip gloss in ingnue, marked down limited edition Be Dazzling Revlon Shimmer Blush in Hint of Ruby, Olay Regenerist skin polisher, a couple 99-cent packs of Archer Farms "indulgent snack mix" a tiered skirt hanger, a pair of tweedy flats and half a set of woodgrain-handled cutlery (I split the pack with a friend, as we both possessed too much flatware already).

I didn't realize how much my Target booty meant to me until I went to take stock of my purchases and realized I was missing one of two bags. I almost started bawling, for real. I was convinced that I'd somehow left a sack behind at the counter, but was relieved to discover that it had simply been forgotten in the car. Phew, close call.

Target * 621 W Edgar Rd., Linden, NJ

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Day of Rest

This place is best avoided on Sunday evenings. Check out lines creep into the aisles (and this is a larger than average Brooklyn store), legless people in wheelchairs create impromptu obstacle courses and people in line think nothing of asking you to watch their stuff while taking their sweet time going back for items or asking to use your Pathmark card for discounts (I don't have one and James seeing how it's done here, i.e. slow, very slow, stepping out of line at the expense of other's time the norm, decided to go out to the car and look for his card despite being one customer away from the cashier. By the time he made it back in I hadn't even budged).

The produce is nothing to shout about on a good day, but Sundays it's slim pickings. The apples were all brown, the red peppers shriveled and basil awol altogether. I'm hoping that the supposedly soon-to-open Red Hook Fairway will brighten the neighborhood shopping experience a bit. It isn't possible to get much grimmer.

Pathmark * 25 12th St, Brooklyn, NY

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Two Floors of Fun

I've steered clear of New York & Company for quite some time. I don't want to relapse with my store credit card usage and I've been trying to wean myself from shimmer and acrylic blends. But I couldn't stay away from their dazzling new midtown location since it's only three blocks from my new job.

The store is a classy, shiny two-floor joint with an escalator, Fischerspooner on the airwaves and no trademark clearance section. What Manhattan will do to a sleazy (not Rainbow sleazy, but Eva Longoria [their new spokeswoman] sleazy. Like their recent press release says "New York & Company offers an extensive selection of sexy fashions at great value.") suburban chain.

But perhaps to make up for the lack of disheveled $9.99 racks, they were having a sale on just about everything. I ended up with three sweaters and two shirts for $66, not bad. Though as usual, once I actually assessed my purchases in the safety of my own home (I never try anything on before buying), two of the five just didn't work. One sweater was just too sparkly and garish and the blouse had belled sleeves which weren't initially obvious, egads.

New York and Company * 715 Lexington Ave., New York, NY

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Atlantic Antics

I'm not sure if the store was decimated because it was the day after the day after Christmas or simply because this is a perpetually busted location. I'm no fan of the Atlantic Center, but was forced into its bad feng shui environs because it's the closet DMV to my apartment (did you know the Brooklyn DMV was inside this monstrosity? And it's baffling because I thought the mall was '90s, yet the DMV is straight '70s municipal chic, very Barney Miller. Did they grime up the space, metal, fluorescent light and wood panel it to look authentically old and dreary, or has it rapidly aged?) and the holiday break was my only chance to renew my license that expired in the summer.

Target wasn't crowded as it has been in the past (I once waited in the return line for 30 minutes and it didn't even budge. I gave up and  took that same pair of $24.99 pants to Hackensack, walked right up to the counter, no line, no questions, and had cash in hand in less than 60 seconds) yet no matter where you wanted to be, someone else had to be in that exact spot too. I was trying to look at hair dye and this guy would get between me and the shelf no matter what, there was no way he was buying hair coloring, he was just being an irritant. Have you ever noticed that about Brooklyn? If you show any interest in an item, look at it, or god forbid, touch it, a stranger will instantly appear and all of a sudden become bizarrely engrossed in what they previously could've cared less about?

But like I said, the shelves were bare. Where purses and bags should've been, sat empty hooks. I wanted to try the chile flavored Choxie bars, but there weren't any to be had. I then, went for my second favorite guilty pleasure after chocolate: makeup.

I was mesmerized by a new line from Loreal called HIP or H.i.p. or something like that (there's no mention of it on their website). I think the acronym stands for high intensity pigment, and is not merely hip. I think they're trying to tap into the MAC market with bright, intense colors which I'm a sucker for. Remember Revlon's Street Wear aping Urban Decay in the late '90s (I still own and wear a few of the eye shadows and lip glosses-no germs or expiration date worries for me)? I love drug store knock offs. And apparently, so does Brooklyn because there was one orphaned tube of dark purple lip gloss left on the entire plastic display. The color I wanted too, but you know it was messed with. I will have to head to a New Jersey Target to satisfy my urge for gimmicky cosmetics and candy.

Target * 139 Flatbush Ave., Brooklyn, NY

*Image borrowed from Samology, which might possibly be the only site that's ever "photoblogged" the Brooklyn DMV. (There are signs all over the place about no camera phones, photos, etc. and I'm scared of breaking rules and pissing off already disgruntled government workers and impatient waiting room dwellers. I got dirty looks just for trying to sit on the far end of an occupied wooden bench–I haven't felt such Oz-like vibes since my Ridgewood-Bushwick Lucille Roberts days.)

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Nothing in Common

'Tis the season of design bazaars, boutique sales and the like. And I always have the intention of attending a few, but inevitably end up at an outlet mall. The suburbs are genetically coded in me. A. I'm cheap. B. I'm a chunk. Like I said, suburban. While I admire the charming, well-curated, indie ethos, mass produced items tend to fit me and my pocketbook a little better.

Woodbury Common is almost like a little ski village (not that I've ever skied or visited a resort town) with a cluster of outdoor stores nestled at the foot of a mountain. I suppose I'm equating the set up with a series of alpine lodges since I only seem to visit around December when it's frosty and bone chilling. The piped in music is kind of unsettling. They really seem to be playing that bouncy Paul McCartney "Wonderful Christmastime" song an awful lot this year. It has never driven me so insane before.

I don't even hit half the stores. Some are irrelevant like Yankee Candle, Sunglass Hut (they also have a Sunglass Station) or NauticaKids, the whole designer row with Dolce & Gabbana and Versace does little for me, and some like Lladro just baffle me (the word always registers in my brain as lardo, and the porcelain figurines are equally confusing. They had these stores when I was in Hong Kong, which seemed even weirder than being in the Catskills).

I really didn't buy much, but I?m more about the experience (and the Applebee's). I settled on a green and white striped wool sweater from Banana Republic, purple velvet blazer, turquoise sequined cardigan and ruffly mint green sheer blouse at Gap, crazy puffy (not furry) white Khombu boots at Famous Footwear (I normally wouldn't look twice at these, but the snow had affected my brain) and red sturdy slippers at J. Crew (as a gift for James, he bought me the green version. Never mind that they were men's). So, I basically bought gifts for myself and will probably do so again in 2006.

Woodbury Common * 498 Red Apple Court, Central Valley, NY

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