Posts from the ‘Shovel Time’ Category

Mar 3

Chip Shop

I don't even like fish and chips fish, however, I do like heavy,
fried food like steak and kidney pie–and who can say no to chips with malt
vinegar?

The menu was typical casual English food in a sit-down fancified
environment with prices to match (not that they were outrageous or
anything). It's all to be expected since this isn't an authentic chip shop
replica, it's a dining establishment in a gentrified neighborhood. My
favorite Park Slope moment came when the kid at the table next to us asked
his mother, "what kind of music is this?" and she informatively replied,
"techno." Ah, Brooklyn and its free spirits.

The funny part was when they told James he'd received the last piece of
cod. We also ordered fried Mars bars and when they said they'd have to check
if they had any, it made me a little nervous. It wasn't until we left that I
noticed the sign on the door (that wasn't there when we entered) saying
they'd ran out of food, and due to the impending storm, didn't know when
they'd have more. Not just out of fish, but food altogether. That was
pretty absurd. I don't know if it was opening week underplanning or if Park
Slope residents just love their pub fare. I felt lucky to have snatched up
the last scraps.

It seems that I've been spending an inordinate amount of time in
brownstone Brooklyn these days. I guess I never frequented the area until
late '00 when I got a job in the neighborhood. It's not something I want to
make a habit of. Be forewarned, it's the stomping grounds for aging,
were-never-quite-hipsters, and precocious tots and the parents (who are
largely comprised of the aging, were-never-quite-hipsters) who made them
that way. (3/3/01)

Deep-fried Twinkies…what more can I say? (9/6/02)

Chip Shop * 383 5th Ave.,
Brooklyn, NY

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Feb 24

The Crepe Factory

1/2
Closed: The crepes are gone and Cafe Dore, a Caribbean joint, has surfaced.
(4/6/02)

I don't make a practice out of hanging out in the family-ish parts of
Brooklyn (or any city for that matter), but I'd forgotten my bag at work
Friday night since I was in such a hurry to leave. Saturday I had to go back
for it, and since I was in a real car instead of my usual subway car, I
thought it'd be fun to see neighborhoods I never see. This brought me to
Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens and The Crepe Factory.

I'd really been dying for a crepe for ages, so this was a golden
opportunity. I really should've gotten a sweet one, but since this would be
my first meal of the day at 4pm, I opted for a savory ham and gruyere
delight. It hit the spot, and then some. It was a bit excessive and I can be
a big eater. Not that I'm complaining about large portions. Actually, my
only complaint would be the table of completely ill-behaved, ruckus-making,
precocious little kids with the oblivious liberal mom. But, I guess it was
my own fault for spending a Sat. afternoon in Carroll Gardens, right?

The Crepe Factory * 270 Smith St., Brooklyn, NY

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Feb 22

Asia Cuisine

I haven't made a habit of mentioning Chinese take out joints. There just
doesn't really seem much point since the names and food all blur together
into one giant generic mass. I love Chinese food, but I'm so burnt out on
boring $4.50 lunch specials full of fried saucy stuff.

But the other day I was running errands during lunch and couldn't help
but notice this place with lots of handwritten signs in the window. Roast
pork bun $1.20 first caught my attention (I love pork buns), then what
really cracked me up was the one reading, "Chinese Pizza" in large print
with Scallion Pancake smaller beneath it. It reminded me of the Asian-run
Mexican place in my neighborhood with the "Chimichanga: Mexican Egg Roll"
sign in the window. The things people will do to entice wary customers. It
worked on me, though. Minor dim sum items could definitely add a lift to an
otherwise mediocre lunch.

Now, I'm a cheapskate first and foremost, so I usually pack a lunch, but
I've also been trying to eat healthier. But you can only eat carrots,
raisins and yogurt so many times a week before you break down. These
tempting little signs in the window were my downfall. I had to check this
place out.

I ordered a roast pork bun, scallion pancake and small hot and sour
soup. The total was under $5 and the results were pleasing. It was too much
food really. The soup contained preserved vegetables which to me always
makes hot sour soup that much better, though I'm not sure if they're really
supposed to be in there or not. The pancake was cut into seven filling
pieces. I couldn't even finish everything, which isn't like me. It wasn't
like the food was sublime or anything, but it got me out of a mini afternoon
rut and that counts for something.

Asia Cuisine * 218 Fifth Ave., Brooklyn, NY

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Feb 21

Lombardi’s

1/2

The oldest pizzeria in the U.S.? The oldest coal-burning oven? Something
like that. Many swear by Lombardi's. However, I just sort of ended up there.
I'd wanted to go, but on this particular evening, Raoul's was the plan.
Twice the price, triple the crowd and who knows what else. I just wasn't in
the mood for a sceney place (I mean, the "New York Times" claims it to be a
favorite of Matthew Broderick and Gwyneth Paltrow, and who needs that). It
was freezing, and even though we were supposed to be a bistro mission, but
in the back of my head I was thinking how good an old-fashioned piece of
pizza sounded (actually I was thinking how great a Hawaiian pizza sounded,
but that's blasphemous in N.Y.) so we headed east for some simpler fare on
Spring St.

It was a house salad, a large sausage and mushroom pie and root beer. I
don't know where the root beer idea came from since I never drink soda and
it's not like this is Pizza Hut. All was good and low-key, and we ended up
sitting next to the third guy from "O Brother, Where Art Thou?." Not George
Clooney and not John Turturro–the other one (who I just looked up so as not
to sound uninformed–it's Tim Blake Nelson). Who needs Gwyneth, right?

I only regret leaving the leftovers in James's fridge. I meant to bring
a piece to work for lunch and I fear it'll be gone by the time I make it
back over there. (Yep, they were gone when I checked the next night.)

Lombardi's * 32 Spring St., New York, NY

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Feb 17

Miss Williamsburg

I really shouldn't be writing about this restaurant because anything I say
will be clouded by the all-around bad night I was having the evening I dined
there. I had too much to drink before showing up at 11pm (an hour before
closing) and got into some heavy relationship talk (which I never do) and
was irritated by the pretentiousness of putting on the menu how you couldn't
have extra parmesan or lemon in your espresso (not that I would ask for
either, but the fact that they were so overly bold their attempts at
authenticity like some hipster Mario Batalis). I barely tasted my food–a
shared mussel appetizer, farfalle with artichokes and part of a panna cotta,
ended up bawling for no good reason, then getting a $75 bill (which at least
I didn't pay for). All in all, a night to forget. (2/17/01)

Miss Williamsburg Diner * 206 Kent Ave., Brooklyn, NY

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Feb 14

Plataforma Churrascaria

Yes, it's true. Nothing says I Love You like meat, meat and more meat. I did find Churracaria Plataforma to be a mildly odd Valentine's dining choice. But I wasn't disappointed, I had wanted to try the place and I've never gone in for any of that oysters, champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries, intimate dining nonsense. This un-subtle choice actually kind of made me feel relieved. Stuffing yourself silly on the most romantic of holidays is a brilliant idea, if you ask me.

I'd been to Riodizio, which didn't even have a salad bar so I was pretty excited about Plataforma (even though I know you're not supposed to fill up on the side dishes). This is sort of the king of NYC rodizios, at least in price and popularity. The salad bar is enormous with selections like sushi (strange for a Brazilian place, though I hear there's a large Japanese population in the country), hearts of palm, a handful of different seafood concoctions, green salad, shrimp, vegetables and loads loads more.

Then once you're done with that course, the games begin. You flip your coaster from red to the green side and the meat starts filling your plate–like five different beef preparations, chicken, sausages, salmon, pork loin, ribs, etc. On top of this, they bring side dishes to the table to accompany the meat: rice, fried plantains, polenta, asparagus, mashed potatoes and this confusing one I never figured out–it looked and tasted like a large plate of bread crumbs with bacon mixed in. What the heck do you do with that?! (I've since learned that it's farofa, toasted manioc flour that should be sprinkled over anything soupy).

Of course I couldn't resist a piece of coconut caramel cake and a glass of dessert wine (stiff caipirinhas were already sipped with dinner) to round things out.

I was interested in seeing what sort of crowd Plataforma would draw on Valentine's Day. It was a melting pot really. We had some pouty Eastern European girl on our left who shared three heaping plates of salad with her date and then not surpringly ate little else when it was time for the meat. Sheesh, what's the point.

Originally on my right, was this freaky, frumpy couple. The guy never took his stocking cap off, the girl was all stringy-haired, they barely exchanged a word. I could see them getting excited about the upcoming Lord of the Rings movie and sitting around engrossed with their Playstation or hanging out in Xena chatrooms.

They were replaced with a livelier couple, though I can barely remember the woman since I was too busy checking out the guy's sparkling diamond earring and glistening jheri curl (to be honest, it wasn't a full blown jheri curl, but that's how I like to remember it).

The couple I was most fixated on were the little hipsters sitting behind James. Didn't they have someplace cooler to go? I mean, Plataforma verges on carnival-like (and the contorting piano player was charmingly grotesque), but it's not really campy enough to go just for shits and giggles. The girl looked like she was in grade school and had the ten-year-old-boy Williamsburg body to finish the look. The guy was a bit older and was wearing a muscle tee (so hard for guys to pull of that '80s retro look) with a green Space Invaders-like character on front, had a giant funky, rectangular, flat-screened watch, compact futuristic Sony camcorder, horn rim glasses and lots of shopping bags. He was all Mr. Gadget/internet millionaire chic. So gross. What really irked me was the way the girl let her chocolate mousse just sit in front of her for like 15 minutes without touching it. I was this close to going over and eating it for her.

A night to remember? In a way. The food did me right, but I ended up having a bit of trouble with my tights falling down in Time's Square on the way home. But that's a whole other sad story.

Churrascaria Plataforma * 316 W. 49th, New York, NY

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Feb 10

Big Enchilada

I give such little thought to eating here that I've never even mentioned it
before. It's not bad, but it's not great either. My friend Jessica can't
praise it enough, but she's vegetarian and their standards are always so
askew. She insists it's comparable to west coast Mexican food, which is way
off the mark. I guess if you only eat rice and beans in your tortillas you
might not be as sensitive to regional differences. But let me tell you, it's
not the same at all. Not one bit. I will say that it's better than
San Loco or Bennies (which isn't saying much), but it's nothing to go out of
your way for. The burritos are decent, the salsa's fresh, the prices are
right and it's next door to Cinema Village. If you're catching a less than
ubiquitous movie in the neighborhood, pop in for a quick meal.

Big Enchilada * 28 E. 12th St., New York, NY

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Feb 9

Cafe Centosette

I've probably walked past this place a million times on the way from the 3rd
Ave. L stop to James's. Yet strangely, we've only eaten there once and that
was for brunch.

I was feeling lazy last weekend, so much so, that our fri. evening
consisted of eating at this place less than a full block away and drinks at
the (newly) Irish bar across the street. The food sort of fits that
criteria, as it's nothing you'd travel a long distance for, but a meal is
far from disappointing. The odds are anything you'd order would be better
than what you could whip up yourself–and for about the same money you'd
spend buying the ingredients at Food Emporium a block up the street. I had
fettucine alla vodka with ham and shrimp, a glass of house red wine, and a
cannoli and it while it didn't put stars in my eyes, it put more of a smile
on my face than Pizzeria Uno, or most of the other restaurants in a
two-block or less radius, would have. (2/9/01)

Not bad, but never amazing. I was feeling lazy, ordered fettucine alla
vodka and a glass of house wine, then just realized that's exactly what I
had last time. Oh well. It'll probaby happen again some time in '03.
(3/1/02)

They moved somewhere on Second Ave. (04)

Cafe Centosette * 107 Third Ave., New York, NY

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Jan 27

Maasbach’s

This place has been right under my nose and beneath the M tracks for the
past two and a half years, and yet I just now ventured within. I always
imagined the interior to be sort of akin to an un-remodeled Denny's with a
senior crowd. This guess was not far off. I didn't realize there were two
sides and that on this occasion, I'd chosen the diner entrance. I was
greeted by wood paneling and turquoise puffy seats like the place hadn't
been touched since the early 70's (possibly late 60's). I don't know if the
clientele has changed much in 30 years either. There were plenty of old guys
harassing one of the waitresses about her (one of many) boyfriends, some
better behaved elderly women who went to the restaurant section and MTA
workers who sat at the counter.

Oh yes, the food. It's nothing to write home about. Hamburgers, chicken
salad and the like, though the kids' menu is amusing with plates named after
animals like the Donkey. Don't go out of your way, but if for some strange
reason you find yourself on the M in Ridgewood, hop off and grab a bite to
eat. You'll probably get some free entertainment in the deal. (1/27/01)

It's gone! I only moved away a year ago and they've already changed the
neighborhood on me. I feel like an old-timer.

Maasbach's * 6694 Fresh Pond Rd., Ridgewood, NY

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Jan 25

Penang

I'd never noticed the bar and grill addition to the name. I'm wary of food
quality in a place with a happy hour. I've also never been inclined to eat
at this outpost even though I walk by it frequently. Why bother when Nyonya
is so much better and cheaper (I've never understood the relation between
all the Penangs and the few Nyonyas)? But I was feeling lazy and it was
within walking distance.

There's a high kitsch value going on at Penang. It's a borderline tiki
lounge with fake, crumbling exposed brick walls, rock wall fountains (with
either leftover Christmas "angel hair" or fungus sprouting from it), and
plenty of bamboo. You're supposed to feel as if you're dining in the open,
but it's hard to get the east village out of your head and think Malyasia
even though it's screaming at you.

The food just didn't have any punch. The beef satay was fine, same for
the roti canai, the beef rendang was also o.k., but a basil chicken dish
tasted like gloppy Chinese take out, Now that I think about it, the only
clunker was the basil chicken. I suppose the food was non-offensive, but
just not worth it in a city with many other Malaysian choices. (1/25/01)

*This location is history. (6/11/04)

Penang Bar and Grill * 64 Third Ave, New York, NY

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Posts from the ‘Shovel Time’ Category

Chip Shop

The Crepe Factory

Asia Cuisine

Lombardi’s

Miss Williamsburg

Plataforma Churrascaria

Big Enchilada

Cafe Centosette

Maasbach’s

Penang

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