Jul 1
Topical and/or newsy isn't my forte, but let's
lightly touch on Canada Day in a roundabout manner. There is an uproar up north
over the new creepy iteration of Kraft peanut butter's teddy bear mascots.
Ok, Kraft makes peanut butter? It's "Canada's favourite?" And it's affiliated
with teddy bears named Crunchy and Smoothy? What else do we not know about Canada?
Known: Lay's dill pickle and ketchup flavored chips were birthed in Canada.
So I went to Ikea in Sweden. The first thing people
say is "It's the same, right?" Well, yes. Not exactly. There's an empty parking lot, for one. On a Friday afternoon, I practically had the place to myself. I've never been to an Ikea where you can walk freely with no bumping or interference. Then again, I've never been to one outside of the NYC area. Maybe as with Trader Joe's, the shopping experience increases in pleasantness the farther you stray from Manhattan.
Conceptually, you've seen it before; there are facsimiles
of rooms set up with furniture to browse, and unless you're Chinese you
probably don't make it your second home. They do have the 2013 Stockholm
collection, which isn't available in the US yet (I'm seriously digging the green
velvet sofa and bright yellow curio cabinet).
The cafeteria, though? It's different. First off,
you can have sparkling wine if you want. You can't be an American and put ice
in your soda because there is no machine. There is also a self-serve smorgasbord
with things like gravlax, pickled herring, hard-boiled eggs and Jansson's
Temptation, a potato anchovy casserole that I thought was for Christmas. The
so-called Summer Buffet did not look as Pinterest pretty as the promotional shot would
have you believe. The service staff was not Scandinavian, which made me think there must be good Turkish food somewhere in Malmo.
Desserts get an entire standalone display. Of course
there were cinnamon rolls, kanelbulle, (I prefer the Danish term kanel snegle,
cinnamon snail, even though I think that's a gross name for a vegan lunch
truck).
The kakaoballs were notable to me because they taste
exactly like an Idaho Spud, recognizable if you're a Northwesterner or regional candy
aficionado. They also came in much larger domes and everyone seemed to have one
on their trays.
How does the standby meatball meal compare? Well, I
was dismayed on my last local visit (Paramus, not Red Hook) to see that the
boiled new potatoes, red, skin-on had been replaced by mashed. In Malmo you get
a choice of mashed, boiled or french fries, except the potatoes are full-sized
and naked. All else was universal.
So I haven't been granted any previews of The Elm or
The Butterfly. But I did get a peek (and almost typed sneak peak because it's been
seared [seered?] into my brain from repeated viewings) inside a Pret a Manger test
kitchen and an early look at their new summer salads launching on Monday. You
know I have a soft spot for international chains, plus I regularly eat at Pret
anyway.
I learned a few localization tidbits:
I like a substantial salad, which usually means a
meaty component, so I was most into the Italian Prosciutto & Quinoa (also
containing hard-boiled eggs, edamame, peas) and the Wild Salmon salad with a
tzatziki dressing (suggested dressings is also a new thing). The three other
salads feature falafel, beets and berries, and vegetables plus quinoa.
And yes, I bemoaned the loss of my old long-gone
favorite the Chicken Provencal No Bread Sandwich, which was really just a
smaller, less expensive salad. It's never coming back.
I think I said I would stop buying cat food while
abroad. I had to make an exception for this sardine-flavored can of Danish kattemad, though.
Danes are just like us. They like to name things
after Kings County (apostrophe, no apostrophe, whatever).
They have Nespresso and seltzer machines on their
counters.
My counter with the lower-end Nespresso machine that
I took as a freebie (though not exactly free in reality since those pods are
65-cents each and gauge you like razor blades or printer ink) but never blogged
about and requisite SodaStream. (I keep my blender hidden away because it
never gets used.)
Beer, coffee, and water aside, there's little in
Copenhagen to tickle the fancy of an American culture enthusiast. Yes, there is
a Hard Rock Cafe attached to Tivoli Gardens, and Burger Kings and McDonald's
show up in and near transport hubs, but this is no Bangkok or Dubai.
Even homegrown chains were lacking. Joe & the
Juice? Eh, I didn't even take a photo. Sunset Boulevard? Maybe. I'm not sure if The Spot is local. I was bummed that their machine to make Daim ice blended coffees was broken, but they did make up for it a bit by using "nasty" in their ad copy.
Max Hamburger is Swedish so it doesn't count.
Vesterbro, a.k.a. the Meatpacking district, still a
little red light, supposedly great for clubbing (certainly not for late night
dining–try finding anything other than shawarma after 10pm on a weeknight, and
when a friend helped me by putting out a Facebook call to locals for "bars
that stay open past midnight," suggestions were for places closing at 1am,
which technically answered the question yet was not what I meant. Even in
middle America bars are open until 2am during the week) also had the
distinction of housing a mall, Fisketorvet, a.k.a. Fish Market, just across the
train tracks, a block from my apartment.
There is a restaurant called The President that
serves a Nixon Burger and has footballer statues dangling puppet-style in
Carlsberg jerseys.
Instead, I opted for The First Lady, across the
walkway, because it was classier, called itself a gastropub and had burgundy
flocked damask wallpaper. What I thought would be a roast beef sandwich turned
out to be kind of a patty melt, or more accurately, a hamburger sandwich. At least that was actually a cherry tomato and not a marachino cherry, one thing Denmark has over China. This
is where I was introduced to remoulade, the beloved mayonnaise spiked with
pickles and mustard, served with everything.
My first-impression takeaway (why does the rest of
the world say takeaway instead of to go?) was that there is a certain sterility
in Copenhagen, a downer more often attributed to a place like Singapore (one of
my favorite cities in the world). Everything is a little too easy (plus
expensive) which lends to a dullness. If I have to make one reference to
Denmark consistently being the happiest country in the universe, I'll make it now.
I've heard theories on that (where I can't recall) and one that I'm inclined to
agree with is that Danes have lower expectations so it takes less to make them
happy, whereas Americans expect the universe and are consistently disappointed.
Simplicity and security does not make us happy.
More later on New Nordic in springtime, i.e. you'd
better like rhubarb, buttermilk, ramson a.k.a. ramps, nasturtium, necks (pork
and poultry), seaweed, sorrel and nettles.
Read about even less food-related bits here.
Or look at some photos:
First it was burgers and tacos, now Parisians have
moved on to lobster rolls. I wonder if deep-dish pizza or chili will ever take hold? [NYT]
Freemans in Tokyo somehow makes sense. Bowlers, antlers, DJs–they're just like us! [Freemans via Grub Street]
Stranger, is Agriculture Canada bringing Canadian cuisine (what?) to the streets of Mexico City. Oaxaca cheese poutine sounds pretty
good, though. [National Post via @Francis_Lam]
Hong Kong's Hutong will be opening a branch in London. There is already an offshoot in Beijing. [BigHospitality]
Stranger, is Agriculture Canada bringing Canadian cuisine
(what?) to the streets of Mexico City. Oaxaca cheese poutine sounds pretty
good, though. [National Post via @Francis_Lam]
https://twitter.com/Francis_Lam/status/324972476742377473
The debut issue of Israeli Playboy describes
Playmate of the Month, Marin Teremets, as "the hottest and sweetest
thing imported from America since the chain Cinnabon.” If this photo is to be used as evidence, the country has some unusual
ideas about baked goods.
Like the Chinese embracing Friends a
decade-and-a-half late, in 2013 South Africans are now getting a taste of KFC's
breasts-as-buns, Double Down. Don't feel too bad for them, though, because they
get a Hawaiian burger (pineapple! "Colonel dressing!") and no one
else does.
I'd like to promise that this is the first and last
time I ever republish a Hungry Girl tweet (I could always move on to Facebook
where she's upsetting dieters by posting photos of fries from Gordon Ramsay in
Tokyo). But damn if those Cherry Blossom drinks and sweets aren't pretty.
Next time in Tokyo, there may be a Dippin' Dots.
Photo: Cinnabon Israel via Facebook
Frankly, I would visit an international P.F. Chang’s sooner than a Pei Wei, but the question has been posed on Twitter.
Pei Wei has expanded globally! Has anyone visited either of our international locations in Mexico or Kuwait? twitter.com/PeiWei/status/…
— PeiWei (@PeiWei) March 22, 2013
Maybe you’re familiar with CaliBurger? I am not. Two
will be opening in China with the promise of
“an environment that looks, smells, and feels like California.”
Auntie Anne’s, on the other hand, is nationally
ubiquitous, right? Now Saigon will have access to soft pretzels (but not the
dipping sauces, according to this blogger).
Three’s a chain, so Mission Chinese Paris, looking
more like a reality, merits a mention.
On the uncool end of the spectrum, France loves fast
food and is the second-largest McDonald’s market after the US. I don’t imagine
the chain’s cherry tomatoes packaged like fries is contributing to its
popularity.
SAT-style, Starbucks could eventually be to China as
McDonald’s is to France. According to Chief Executive Howard Schultz, “”It’s
no doubt that one day China will become our second-largest market after the US
and it’s possible that, over many years, potentially the largest one.”
Wendy’s in Ecuador? Ok, why not.
I was getting a little concerned that the Middle
East was hogging all the international Cheesecake Factories for itself. No
worries (ha, why does everyone hate "no problem" and "no
worries" so much?) Mexico and Chile (and possibly Argentina, Brazil,
Colombia and Peru) will see at least 12 locations in the next eight years. I do
wonder if Mexico City, the first recipient, will put Mexico City Chicken, i.e. "fresh
lime chicken breasts over black beans and chicken chorizo, with white rice and spicy
tomato sauce. topped with roasted corn salsa," on the menu.
Brazil, Colombia, Panama and the Dominican Republic
may not be seeing Cheesecake Factories any time soon, however, these countries
will possibly be consoled by Darden brands like Red Lobster, Olive Garden and
Longhorn Steakhouse. Sorry, no Bahama Breeze.
No one in Columbia or Peru probably asked for a Sbarro, but too bad. If the existing Mexican Sbarros are any indication, the other Latin American markets won't see a single nod to localization. The elusive Stuffed Philly Cheese Steak pizza survives south of the border, though.
Mexico City chicken photo: Lon&Queta/Flickr
If for some reason you are keen on such things, 2013
has already been a banner year for international chain expansion news.
Since I don't surf or really do beaches, I've not
thought much about Costa Rica, but Technomic declares it a hotspot. It's good enough for Cosi, Moe's Southwest Grill and Smashburger.
Poor reading, i.e. skimming, comprehension led me to believe that "McDonald's takes on pizza for Italy growth spurt" meant McDonald's was going to start selling pizza in Italy. No. The only concession to local tastes described in the article is a ham and cheese sandwich.
Despite KFC's presence since 1987 Yum! Brands is losing its luster in China, along
with Western fast food generally. Domestic brands like HeheGu featuring
delicious-sounding "slow-cooked pork and bamboo shoots over rice" and
Taiwanese chains like Dico with less delicious-sounding but highly creative "cumin-flavoured
chicken fries and pineapple-chicken-mayonnaise sandwiches" are beginning
to catch up with fried chicken and pizza.
Pakistan may not love our politics, but they do love
our Fatburger…and Johnny Rockets, Hardee's, Cinnabon and Mrs. Field's. Of course Yum! has been there the longest–since the late '90s–minus Taco Bell as usual.
While KFC
and Pizza Hut get all of the attention abroad, in 2010 Yum! did launch Taco
Bell in India. It hasn't exactly won coverts so the menu will become 60%
localized and vegetarian, an unusual move. Thing is, I thought that's what they
were already doing. It seems like just yesterday we were hearing about Mexican
paneer potato burritos.
Sure India has a middle class, but for most Domino's
has been perceived as a special occasion treat. The
company swapped out pricier mozzarella for "liquid cheese sauce" and
voila: a 65-cent pizza. What I'd really like to see is an explanation for Taco Indiana Chicken (pictured above) described as "delicious oregano sprinkled crispy crust and a cheesy layer over seasoned minced chicken" on the menu. That's roti not tortillas, right?
I should omit this Washington Post link on principle for allowing "Vietnamese palette" to make it in. Starbucks has infiltrated Asia, but is just now
getting around to Vietnam. Trouble is, the country already has an established
coffee culture. It might be cool if Starbucks offered those individual metal
drip filters and used a shitload of sweetened condensed milk for iced coffee.
Not all
extensions are fast food. Brooklyn
Brewery is coming to Stockholm and will likely cash in
Brooklyn's caché. “Swedes love the taste of our beer, the
name of our beer and the mystique of Brooklyn," said the brewery's COO.
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