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Posts from the ‘Goodie Obsession’ Category

Best Snack Ever

Namprikhummus

Nam prik + hummus = best treat ever. I don’t know if the painfully hot, shrimpy, just barely sweetened paste that recently singed my tongue mellowed with age or if I was just overly sensitive the first time I tasted it. But now it’s perfect. And spooned around a tub of the smoothest, tastiest (which I’m sure is directly attributable to fat content) pre-packaged hummus brand, Sabra, it creates a perfectly balanced dip.

I used to be satisfied with their fiery Supremely Spicy Hummus, but now there’s no going back. The minutely rosier blob in the center of my container is the barely touched chile mix that comes factory sealed. All the other mounds are my pungent addition. I want to eat this newfound snack every day. Last night I ate hard shell tacos for dinner (don’t laugh—they’re good maybe twice a year). Normally, that would be perfectly satisfying but I felt like I was missing something so I had to dig into the nam prik hummus for a makeshift dessert course.

What else can I put nam prik on? Yesterday, I was completely charmed by the idea of curry rice krispie treats. It’s not a giant leap to imagine chile paste mingling with puffed rice. There already is a Thai snack that drizzles caramel on something similar. But I can’t find a photo of that sweet anywhere and I swear I had one, myself.

Saint Agur

Agur_3 I have not given up on my quest to taste all soft blue cheeses. Mild and squishy Saint Agur still needs to be added to the list. It’s a classy $19/lb cheese, not to be found just anywhere. I recently picked up the last sliver on display (they had more in the basement but I’m ok with the dregs) at Stinky Bklyn where I was putting a birthday gift certificate to good use.

I got side tracked by Beeler Hoch Ybrig, a gruyere-like cheese that’s super-nutty. I guess it smells, though I’m under-sensitive to strong food odors. I do know that when I attempted the wretched master cleanse, one tiny bite of this cheese induced serious regurgitation.

I’ve learned my lesson with the chunky jamon Serrano at Stinky Bklyn, so I opted for lomo embuchado instead. This cured pork, they cut on a slicer. And I swear to god, I’m not a stickler but I wonder if it’s not meant to be cut paper thin? It looks hefty in photos. All I know is that it’s like a phantom food. No matter how many see-through circles you pick up and chew, there’s no flavor. It’s caloric air.

The Vosges Barcelona Bar was much more satisfying. While I rarely salt my savory food, I love it with caramels and chocolate. Hickory smoked almonds and sea salt are a good combo, and I liked that this used milk chocolate rather than a hardcore, high cocoa percentage dark.

Whenever I’m not spending my own money, I’m inclined to experiment with foofy beverages. The unknown liquid in this instance was Bottle Green Lemongrass and Ginger Soda. I don’t normally drink soda, sweet liquids have never done much for me, but when I’m feeling wild I’ll splurge on fizzy, juicy things like Kristall (not Cristal). So, Bottle Green isn’t really a soda; it’s not even carbonated. That kind of sucked because one of my core requirements for a refreshing beverage is the presence of bubbles. If I were one for crafting fabulous cocktails, this spicy citrus water might make a good mixer.

Oh yes, back to the cheese. Keeping with my dated palate, Saint Agur was invented in the late ‘80s. I wouldn’t say it tastes grungy, though. When it’s cold the texture is thick and substantial, barely blue, more like Laughing Cow than brie, despite a 60% fat content. After warming up, the cheese develops a subtle spiciness with little aftertaste. All in all, very straightforward and clean, not funky in the least. Almost too refined for me—I’d prefer something a touch trashier.

Previously in soft blues:
Saga
Cambozola
Mountain Top Blue

Take My Cupcake, Please

Et_big1 I hope this post on the wonder of petit fours is a harbinger that the ladies of the internet will stop blogging about macarons. Petit fours are where it’s at, duh. I know they’re just small squares of cake, but they feel so much more special.

Maybe the frosted bites could even usurp cupcakes as tiny and pointlessly trendy dessert, though I fear frozen yogurt is an unbeatable front-runner. Those damn cupcakes have had a sticky stronghold on this entire decade.

E.T. baker tee from Johnny Cupcakes

Saga Blue

Saga is the poor man’s soft blue cheese. It’s not dirt cheap at around $9.99/lb, but it’s the most likely variety to be had from middle of the road grocery stores. Usually, I only resort to it when I’m desperate. I guess I was desperate Saturday because during a Fairway run it was the only soft blue prepackaged on display (not only was my favorite Castello Blue missing, but the Cambozola was M.I.A too) and I caved. Sure, I could’ve waited at the cheese counter. I just wasn’t in the mood.

Saga_blue_2

Usually Saga is low key and kind of generic, bitter rinded, very brie-like. It’s rarely as creamy as I’d like. The wedge I picked up this weekend tasted like swampy iceberg lettuce, weirdly enough. Remind me not to fall for it again. I should know better by now. It’s the same thing with Pret a Manger’s sandwiches always being pricy and mayo-laden, and yet I still persist in buying them every so often.

I was amused to see that my taste is early ‘80s. The decade has been a recent treasure trove for fashion and music, so all things brie should really make a comeback. I’m waiting for blackened catfish, kiwis, and mud pie to return with a vengeance. Strangely, sushi’s never faded away.

Previously in soft blues:
Cambozola
Mountain Top Blue

Blue Cheese: Cambozola

Mold is the only substance that will make me gag and wretch like those inexplicable emotional vomiters that fascinate and repel me. If I see or smell (yes, mold has a distinct smell) white fuzz, my throat closes up, acid starts rising. (The other day, I discovered a bag of jerky next to the cat food that had begun sprouting fur. I had no idea that jerky could go moldy.) But I can reconcile my loathing as long as it’s an intentional part of crafted cheese. Just cutting off green growths from a block of cheddar won’t suffice. (I know plenty of people think this is acceptable but I was traumatized years ago by woodsy, mobile home dwelling, vague friends of the family who brought out a jar of grape jelly for sandwiches and nonchalantly directed, "just don't put the knife in the mold." The entire rim of the glass container was encrusted with flora. Later that same day I was served a hamburger that had a pocket of mayonnaise in the middle of the patty.)

Cambozola

Cambozola is next up in my comparison of soft blue cheeses. I can’t decide if it’s pricy or not at around $12/lb. Is it classy? I got mine straight off the shelf at Fairway. Usually, they stock Blue Castello, but it was absent on this visit. I hope they didn’t replace it with Cambozola. As might be intuited from the name, this is a Camembert Gorgonzola hybrid. However, you might not guess that it’s German (though Champignon’s US headquarters are just across the Hudson in Englewood Cliffs, NJ).

This stuff is like pure buttery fat, sticky and thick and not overwhelmingly blue. Smooth, with no bitterness or sharpness. I could actually stand for a little more punch. My problem in general is that I have a hard time defining what’s too rich, so the line between appreciative and gluttonous can be tenuous. I have to wrap up and hide away these creamy blue-streaked wedges or I’ll keep going back and slicing off more. I guess that means I like the Cambozola.

More soft blues:
Saga
Mountain Top Blue

Can-Do Spirit

Food_s4I’m not sure how one becomes a “culinary critic of tinned foods” outside of simply declaring yourself as such, but I do like the notion. A few weeks ago, I was speculating on how the French can make eccentricity chic, but it’s the Japanese who make batshit crazy cool.

Ok, collecting canned food isn’t exactly crazy (and I’ve never understood what guano has to do with mental instability). I’ve been known to find and hoard a few oddball foodstuffs but I don’t have outlets like Chika Takai. She serves canned food in a restaurant, has published a book translated as “Canned Food Maniacs” and guest spoke and produced a menu for Nichiro’s 100th anniversary celebration.

I’m not even wild about canned food (though I love spicy Thai catfish in a tin) but I’m impressed. I now want to become the foremost culinary critic of chain restaurants.

The Madeline Myth

I’ve always felt a little sore because I don’t have a pivotal (good) food memory. A meal or single ingredient that shaped you into the human you are today. You know, the fodder for like 85% of all food related essays. “Going home” literally and figuratively. Discovering yourself through family or life changing travels, and all the better if your tale involves a rustic village on the European continent.

(In fact, I was a little weirded out yesterday when I opened the new Gourmet to discover an article from the woman who does (did?) the Bruni Digest—about an ancestral home in Finland and the cuisine that accompanies these summer sojourns. I absolutely do not know the path that takes one from blogging smart, satire of a New York Times food critic to writing intergenerational food pieces in highly coveted venue. But then, such leaps have always mystified me.)

But it turns out that I do have a foreign food memory (I’m still working on the family component), albeit minor, and didn’t even realize it. Last century, when I still spent lots of weekends in the East Village, I would frequent the East Village Cheese Shop. Sure, everything was on the verge of turning bad but it was cheap as hell. The dollar selections up front would charm me and I always fell victim to Castello Blue, a little half circle, wrapped in gold foil and boxed in cardboard. One buck for the creamiest, brie-blue hybrid ever.

It was so good that it had to be trashy. At least that’s my nonsensical logic. A purist would just eat full on piquant blue cheese or triple cream brie unadorned. Blue Castello is the anti-Cabrales. Someone that would enjoy tempering one with the other has no respect. I’ve never been respectful, though.

I never knew such a two-in-one treat existed, at least I didn’t think so until I remembered bleu de bresse. Eighteen years ago I spent a miserable July in a 17th century country home in Southwestern France. My attempt at being a summer exchange student was not a success. I didn’t appreciate my bucolic environs one bit, could barely communicate and was bored out of my mind. But I did like the bleu de bresse when the after dinner cheese plate came out.

Well, it was a Tupperware container of cheeses, some past their prime. My host mom (who I described in my diary at the time as looking like Peg Bundy with Rod Stewart’s face, and I would stick with that assessement today) considered herself to be “modern,” which meant we ate frozen food (even the baguettes) and watched TV during dinner. Two things I had been led to believe were absolute no-nos in France. Honestly, I could’ve cared less about either at sixteen (and got a kick out of Dana Hill being in like every TV movie. I currently get a kick out of the fact that there's a guy mysteriously named Dana Hill who works remotely at my company) but did notice the discrepancies.

The creamy bleu de bresse was the only edible that demanded an inquisitive qu'est-ce que c'est from me. I’ve never sought it out since and never see it anyway. I’m not sure that it’s even sold in the U.S. But I’ve been eating approximations for years without realizing where I got the taste for the style in the first place.

Whenever I’m presented with an opportunity to try a creamy blue, it’s impossible to pass up. I’ve been trying to limit my cheese intake (when I go on healthy eating binges, I don’t miss sweets so much as rich dairy products) but soft blues are my weakness. I’ve bought two wedges in the past two weeks. See, no self-control. And it fits into my fetish for blue food.

Sliced_mountain_top_bleu

As long as I’m unable to resist my urges I may as well sample the variations I encounter. First up is an odd cheese to start with because it doesn’t completely fit into this category.

Last week I read about Mountain Top Blue on The Kitchen and felt inspired to track it down because the store mentioned in the post happens to be walkable from my apartment. I’m not one for going all that out of my way for comestibles so this was like a cheesey siren song I couldn’t tune out.

This pyramid shaped cheese doesn’t fit my M.O. because it’s an artisanal goat milk concoction and the blue aspect is minimal. Also, at $15 a pop, it's pricier than my usual snacky impulse purchases. It’s more like a very good mild and nutty goat cheese with a hint of tanginess from the blue. It’s also more substantial and less melting than the styles I normally relish. You can cut a slice without it buckling under its own melting texture. I suspect that with age, this cheese would soften up in the center, but it didn’t last long enough to get that gooey. Purchased on a Friday evening, it was history by Monday morning. I might buy it to share at a party, but it almost felt obscene to pick at the blob solo over a weekend.

More soft blues:
Saga
Cambozola

$3.49 Lofthouse

Lofthouse_cookies_exposedI very rarely shop at Stop & Shop, mostly because there aren’t that many around. But yesterday I was on Northern Boulevard sampling Colombian hamburgers (and ultimately ended up seeing 28 Weeks Later a few blocks over in Astoria—I’m still not clear where the Long Island City border is. I'm also not clear why ESLs go to English language movies if they have to have every other word explained to them aloud. And if inanity like "What's a pub?" is going to occur, why does it have to be conducted half an inch from me?) and for boring reasons I ended up at two Stop & Shops (L.I.C. and Maspeth).

I do enjoy their spacious aisles and near approximation of suburban shopping. Plus, they’re never crowded (they tend to be a little overpriced unless you get one of those loyalty cards, which apply to practically everything). But the biggest draw besides the bottle and can recycling machine is their brightly colored sprinkle-topped sugar cookies that tend to have seasonal themes.

I thought they were a house brand, but they’re made by a company called Lofthouse (their website appears to be in limbo). I’ve never been crazy about store bought cookies (or canned soup) because they always seem lacking. But these thick icing-heavy examples are an exception. They’re not special, more like something someone would bring to grade school for a birthday (except that now everyone has allergies or is obese or organic-only and treats are outlawed). There’s a floury, slightly baking soda-ish quality to them, crumbly and chewy at the same time, and I swear to god, toothsome would be an apt description but I’m not using that word anymore.

Lofthouse_cookies It seems that I’m not alone in my fondness for these sweets, though chatter on Yahoo! Answers isn’t really indicative of anything. Heck, people also devote time posting “Which major chain restaurant has sourdough bread that is cut in 4?” and “At taco bell they serve a pinto bean and cheese thing and I would love to make it with dinner tonight.?

I won’t question why red, white and blue is featured in May. I suppose patriotism can be celebrated year-round. In fact, there was a mom shopping with two youngish boys, and one was dressed head to toe in camo, so who’s to say?

Kristall Clear

Img_pear_2 I love to eat but I don’t really love weekday lunch. At my relatively still new job people make use of their full hour and aren’t big desk eaters. That’s wise, I’m trying to get there. I’m simply a desk eater because I can’t deal with crowds and the 12-2 crush raises my blood pressure (for real—I’d like to believe this study mentioned in the NY Times last week about dark chocolate being as effective as beta blockers in controlling blood pressure. They specifically mentioned atenolol, which is what I take because I seem to have the health level of a sedentary middle-aged man who has smoked and eaten red meat his entire life).

I just ran across the street to grab a bagel at Au Bon Pain who doesn’t make even remotely good bagels but there aren’t a lot of options around Broad and Beaver streets. It’s always frenzied and I start getting all distracted and unable to make a decision and thought I should get a seltzer because I was getting tired of the tap water I’d been lugging around in a Poland Springs bottle (I usually get a couple weeks out of each bottle before I start worrying about germs). I didn’t see any club soda so I blindly grabbed an inoffensive, clear, sparkling pear beverage in a glass bottle. I was a little bummed to realize it contained sugar after I sat down but it was fairly light and more fruity, plus, how often do you find a pear soda?

I attempted to read about the faux gastro pub craze in New York and tried not to let the bustling around me bug me out (why do I have beta blockers when I really need tranquilizers?). It wasn’t until I got back to the office that I realized my name was in the Swedish brand of all natural fruit soda.

I know, big deal if your name is John or something but I’ve never been blessed with namesake anything, (though in Budget Travel I discovered a Buenos Aires boutique hotel called Krista) not even things meant to be personalized. I even see Krystal, which seems unusual, more than Krista. Off the top of my head, there are burgers, a Filipino (one of the other Krista Garcias in the world is a teenager in the Philippines) mini chain in NYC (hmm, looks like they just closed their Manhattan branch) and a new bar I just noticed Saturday on Queens Blvd.

So now I love Kristall soda even though I normally hate soda. Oh my god, I just found out something horrifying about Kristall: they also produce a beverage called Julmust. I have no idea how it tastes, but with hops and malt extract listed it sounds suspiciously close to my least favorite foodstuff in the universe that I just mentioned yesterday, malta. Kristall clearly has a dark side.

Food Felons

Petit_fours I can totally sympathize with this “Sweet Tooth Bandit” who spent nearly $700 at Swiss Colony using a stolen identity. I used to become desperate and tormented every holiday season when the unsolicited Swiss Colony catalog showed up on the mail. I would longingly page through the wish book, coveting the petit fours with all of my grade school being. I never ever got a single item from Swiss Colony and now that I have free will (and better taste in confectionary) I feel less compelled to order anything. If there’d only been an internet in the early ‘80s, who knows what havoc I might’ve tried to wreak.

–It’s not every day that fried chicken brings out the firebug in people. I do love the NYC brand name bastardization process. Somehow Kentucky Fried Chicken (don’t forget the Kitchen Fresh Chicken fiasco) becomes Kennedy Fried Chicken and then JFK Fried Chicken emerges.

I discovered the regionally confused chicken Maryland when I was in Penang. I never ordered any, but it appears to be fried chicken served with fried bananas, fritters, fries and sometimes sausage or bacon. Does that scream Baltimore to you?

The unanswered question in this arson case is why a Twin Donut would be selling fried chicken at all. Franchises are so renegade in NYC–I recall there used to be a Blimpie that sold Thai food on the side and a Chinatown Popeye’s that hawked pork dumplings under the counter. I’m sure there are countless other examples.

–Ok, malnourishment isn’t a felony but if your eating disorder fucks up my commute something criminal just might happen.