Posts from the ‘Chains of Love’ Category

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, Ikea. I realize 15% isn't much, but it's not often there's a storewide sale, so I took advantage. Oddly, only the Paramus location was participating, which was fine by me since Elizabeth is busted and rife with NYCers and Hicksville feels far on the LIE. At Paramus the workers are grown up white people, that's how you know you're in a real suburb (as opposed to ratty Elizabeth). Jobs that only minority teens will do in the city are performed by joe schmos in most parts of the country. I know I've lived here too long when smiling, helpful workers make me suspicious.

Everything is efficient, clean and well stocked, the dead opposite of picked over sour puss Elizabeth. There was a cart guy who actually offered to take ours as we were pushing them back to the store after loading our car. A woman comes around and takes plates and washes the tables while you're dining in the caf. The coke-bottle-spectacled cashier who seemed like a library shelver reject made small talk about the Hella Jongerius vase I'd purchased. "Do you read the Bergen Record"? Uh, no. Apparently, there had been an article on these vessels, which is why the stock had been nearly depleted–the white one I'd wanted was gone and we got the last pink one.

They had free sheet cake and there was more than enough to go around and there wasn't even a line (I could only imagine how this would play out in the Red Hook location, if it ever opens. It would be a messy mob scene, for sure) Um, I could do without their house reggae band, Verdict, who has been playing bad covers on more than one occasion. But that's a small price to pay for an otherwise sane shopping experience.

Ikea * 100 Ikea Dr., Paramus, NJ

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The Bard of Snacking

We took a break from Westfield and went back to our original New Jersey locale in Westwood (apparently, having west in your township's name guarantees a Trader Joe's will set up shop). It's less mobbed than Westfield, but lacks a liquor license, which might have something to do with the huge A&P Liquors immediately next door. Westwood is cute and Martha Stewart-ish, they a small town shopping strip with two candy stores and a grassy gazebo. Oh, and a Melting Pot restaurant. I thought that chain had totally died out in the '80s.

I was pretty restrained in my buying. I used to go nuts buying unnecessary frozen items and sauces. I mean, I live in NYC, I don't need prepackaged pizza and Chinese food. I now stick to things that are more expensive and specialty here like maple syrup, vanilla beans, certain cheeses, spiced nuts, etc. And I always go overboard on sweets and snacks.

This time I was suckered in by a tin of the new stupidly named Monteblue & Populet (the original is Rosencrunch & Guildenstern) a walnut and blueberry caramel corn. Caramel corn is my nemesis, I absolutely can?t stop eating it once I start. (At Target I go crazy for their version with cranberries, and it's dangerous because it's packaged in this huge clear plastic container and priced cheaper than the smaller Poppycock.) I ate all eleven Monteblue & Populet servings in twenty four hours. Damn those Shakespearean puns and their tasty popcorn.

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Everyone Needs a Pound of Poppers

Every Costco has a vibe. For instance, my old walking distance Sunset Park location was pure ghetto. Eh, not completely, but it's busted and crammed, there's that annoying cart conveyer belt to get to the second floor, and you can't browse or look at any single item for more than about two seconds because you?ll be forced out of the way by the endless crush of aggro shoppers. And I thought Costco was supposed to be all about food samples, which never seem have caught on in Brooklyn, or else the free tidbits were decimated by the time I showed up.

Despite moving up figuratively and geographically, this is still the closest Costco. We'll try others at all costs. As usual, any chain location not accessible by public transportation and even better, not in NYC, is a good bet. Staten Island, which I've tried once, wasn't horrible. But if you're going to pay the nine freaking dollars to cross the Verrazano you may as well go the extra mile into New Jersey (hmm, more than a few extra–I didn't realize Edison was 22 miles away, the same as the Yonkers Costco across from Stew Leonard?s, which takes twice as long to get to). Paramus used to be our NJ hot zone, but recently Edison has won us over with its unassuming charm, plus it feels more convenient (yet also not closer in distance).

Apparently, this is the Asian Costco (yes, Brooklyn's is the black and Hispanic one while Staten Island's is teaming with working class white folks) which was different, though not unexpected. This area is also home to the best Hong Kong Supermarket ever, and countless Indian restaurants and shops. Unfortunately, it?s not like Western Beef where they carry items to reflect the neighborhood. And no, T.G.I. Friday?s frozen Southwestern Egg Rolls don't count. I made due (or is that do–I'm always confounded by this phrase, though I certainly get the difference between bare and bear feet) with the woman independently selling eight varieties of caramel apples in the middle of the store. I don't know the logistics of that, but it reminded me of how you see in Malaysian malls. It felt foreign and old-timey at the same time.

We hit the bonanza. This is the only Costco I've been to with a comprehensive wine and alcohol section inside (as opposed to the Sunset Park one with an adjoining run of the mill liquor store). And the only one to stock the elusive-since-leaving-Portland, giant box of frozen jalepeno poppers. Ole!

My only complaint with Costco (because there must be at least one), once the crowd issue is eliminated, is the carts. They're impossible to push and/or steer when filled even modestly with the economy sized products on display.

Costco * 2210 Route 27 N., Edison, NJ

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Sorta Big in Japan

Japanese style doesn?t necessarily conjure up utilitarian fleece, corduroy and cashmere. Maybe I've seen too much street fashion a la Fruits. Obviously, the entire island nation doesn't sport pink hair, furry legwarmers and inflatable props. Uniqlo has been described as the Japanese Gap, which I wouldn?t wholly agree with. James heard about it somewhere (lord knows where, it's not like he's plugged into fashion media) and was gunning to go because he was under the impression that it was like the Gap of our youth, meaning basics in lots of colors, more specifically cords in shades other than the dulled-down fall tones dominating places like J. Crew.

Eschewing the straight from Sweden to midtown H&M approach, Uniqlo decided somewhat strangely to open their U.S. flagship in a small scale, run-down (though currently under renovation) Middlesex county mall. Perhaps they're testing the waters in a less trend-driven suburban locale. This is my new favorite part of New Jersey. It's relatively quick from Brooklyn, through Staten Island, and not as overrun as seemingly more affluent Bergen County. For example, Garden State Plaza has Hugo Boss and Louis Vuitton where Menlo Park Mall still has an early '80s sign out front, Benihana across the street, Spencer Gifts (actually, Garden State Plaza does too) and a dollar store (where I bought a bunch of totally unnecessary candy). Edison and surrounding townships contain all my favorites like the best Hong Kong Supermarket ever, Trader Joes with wine, an un-ghetto Costco, good dim sum, tons of Indian restaurants and a Dairy Queen. Now that's living.

Admittedly, I happen to be a fan of the cheap, sparkly, $25 and under, six-month shelf life aesthetic. So, $79 cashmere cardigans and simple, solid color tees and turtlenecks didn't do much for me. I did, however, purchase a lightweight black, slightly fitted (perhaps a little too fitted–I was afraid an Asian XL might not be so extra or large. The predicament certainly wasn't helped by our later lunch at the on site Cheesecake Factory) windbreaker, which is sure to guarantee the torrential rain that plagued all of last week will let up. James fared better, buying up a couple pairs of pants, a butter yellow corduroy oxford, and three-for-$10 cute colored argyle socks.

I think two more New Jersey locations are in the works. I assume Uniqlo will eventually jump the Hudson. I can see it doing well with the Real Simple audience and organic baby food, no-to-little make up, SUV-owning set who inhabit my neighborhood (Carroll Gardens) and environs (minus Red Hook).

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