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Posts from the ‘Chains of Love’ Category

The Death of Cinna Stix®

Dr. oetker lava cake  
I thought molten cakes had reached the masses when Betty Crocker started selling microwave versions (I hate to admit I picked up a two-pack of Warm Delights Minis last week at Wegmans. I’ve never tried these before but the 150 calorie per serving call out apparently spoke to my inner Hungry Girl that I never knew existed. Next thing I’ll be melting Laughing Cow cheese triangles and calling it alfredo sauce).

But now I realize it’s Domino’s appropriating the trademark Jean George dessert that is the true symbol of food democracy. Let’s see, it took approximately 20 years for this trend to trickle down so I’m seeing marinara foam on pizzas around 2030.

McCormick & Schmick’s

Mccormick & schmick's exterior 

Did I love it? Not so much. There was an overall feeling of stinginess despite attempts to project sophistication.

Despite springing from the verdant fir-y loins of Portland just like me, I've never eaten at a McCormick & Schmick's before (I thought I had but that was the lovely Washington Square Newport Bay with the panoramic view of a cemetery). If you're northwestern, patronizing such chains just isn't done. However, if you're northwestern and find yourself at a mall in Bridgewater, New Jersey looking at Crate & Barrel beds, there's much less shame.

Mccormick & schmick's interior

More upscale, i.e. expensive, than a Red Lobster and stodgier than a Bonefish Grill, stained glass depicting a Revolutionary War cannon, banker’s visor green drapes framing the coveted booths flanking two dark wood walls, an endless Alto sax soundtrack and a tray of shellacked desserts to entice tableside, evoke another era, perhaps the cusp of 1990. The naming of each fish's place of origin is very 2000's, however. The napkins are cloth though the wooden tables are bare, a distressing cost-saving trend we noticed on our last Bonefish visit. I'm paying for class! Another nod to new frugality was the absence of bread and butter unless asked.

Mccormick & schmick's clams

I try to avoid filling up on empty carbs but briny, white wine-spiked broth shouldn't go to waste even if it was almost too salty. They also come with a little  container of popcorn butter. Don’t feel bad about summoning bread to accompany the steamed clams. The portion was a little skimpy for sharing and two mollusks didn't open, acting as accidental server kryptonite. No one would touch or remove the bowl thinking we hadn't finished yet. I suppose I prefer the just in case leave over the overzealous grab.

Judging from most of our fellow diners, largely 40+ twosomes and a big group celebrating a birthday, 90% who cleared out by 9pm, soda in glass tumblers is the beverage of choice. I'm a weirdo who drinks wine at chains (fast food restaurants adding alcohol is a growing trend so clearly I'm not that weird). A 5-ounce Pour of a Chilean (Haras Di Pirque) Sauvignon Blanc with the clams and 8 ounces of Chateau Ste. Michelle Riesling, which seems to be standard chain Riesling, with my entrée. No, I'm not an oenophile. I don't even have a problem with Charles Shaw.

Mccormick & schmick's lobster tail

I've been wanting to buy live lobsters from the Red Hook Lobster Pound but they were already sold out by the weekend and I hate to admit I'm a little squeamish about killing a creature (cleaning live soft shell crabs nearly a decade ago traumatized me slightly) so I was drawn to the summer lobster section offering three choices. I should've just gone with the traditional whole lobster but wasn't up for lots of messy cracking. Instead, I tried the Caribbean grilled lobster tail with tropical rice pilaf. The bits of meat I managed to extract were sweet but had a not wholly pleasant bitter dirt-like spicing perhaps allspice in the jerk-y blend. At least I managed to eat chain seafood and avoid the breaded, fried and heavily sauced, August's self-imposed mandate is light and low in starch, though I can let the occasional slice of bread and scoop of rice slide.

I wouldn't call M&S particularly good value (appetizers could stand to have a dollar shaved off and I would be more comfortable with entrees losing about $4) and it didn't provide the breezy level of fun I crave from a chain restaurant. This is a case, where an independent seafood restaurant may have been the better choice, though I don't know that any exist in the vicinity. We played with the Urbanspoon app in the Apple store and all the shaking provided no deeper insights.

In short: Portland, Oregon-based seafood restaurant founded in 1979 with 85 locations in 26 states.

Pacing: This is an important chain benchmark for me. We are slow eaters and I like to see if a restaurant will go with the flow or stick to a prescribed regimen. At M&S our entrees were brought out while the appetizer was still on table.

Hard sells: No reciting of specials. Loyalty card applications are on table.

Signature dish: None that I’m aware of, but they do emphasize the fresh and seasonal.

Oddball item: Nothing too glaring, perhaps the spicy tuna "pizza" using wasabi mayo and avocado. There is also a section of five dishes called New Jersey Seafood Classics, that includes not super-regional things like fish and chips, crab cakes and fettuccine alfredo.

Cons: Being called ma'am maybe ten times. No female in their 30s should be called ma'am. (I just reached a restaurant scenario on my Spanish language mp3 that involved a husband correcting a waiter calling his wife senorita instead of senora, miss rather than ma’am. “This is my wife and the mother of my children!”) Take note. This is what a ma'am looks like to a 12-year-old playing an orphan half his age. The actress playing Ma'am a.k.a. Katherine Calder-Young Papadapolis was 43 when the show aired.

McCormick & Schmick's * Bridgewater, NJ

Chocolate Thunder from Down Under

Bloomin_onion Because I have no money to lose I've never glommed onto the whole Bernie Madoff story. But now, finally an angle I can identify with: wealthy con artists love chains too!

Sure, there's a Per Se instance, lots of Lure, and on January 10, 2008 he spent $88.60 at the Outback Steakhouse on 23rd Street. Sadly, we'll never know if he AmEx'd a Bloomin' Onion.

Other less chainy chains include Houston's, Wollensky's Grill, Blue Ribbon (Brasserie and Sushi) and Dos Caminos.

The Bernie Madoff Dining Index [Clusterstock via Eater]

Getting My Goat

Reyes de ocotlán goat door  It's a fast food bonanza over at Esquire.com. The best. The worst. And sure, lots of usual suspects…does an In-N-Out hater even exist? Lurking on slide 21 of fast food faves is Rick Bayless' pick, Birreria Reyes de Ocotlan in Chicago, illustrated with one of my very own photos. Go goat meat!

Chain Links: Expansion

Six new Applebee’s are slated for the NYC metro area by the end of 2009. Manhattan needn't fear—Flushing, Harlem, The Bronx and Westchester will be the recipients. [Crain's]

Manhattan is not completely safe. Currently, they have 149 Subway shops, two are on their way and there is no end in sight. [Grub Street]

California Pizza Kitchen is coming to India. With carne asada, jerk chicken, Greek and Thai chicken pizzas already in existence, tandoori can only be in the works. [Forbes]

He Kin’ Do It

Donut police One of my favorite May-December romances of 2008 was the pretty boy teen and the not-so-pretty 37-year-old teacher. Does, "I'm tapping that ass and there's nothing you can do about it" ring any bells?

Former model, Joshua Walter, has now been arrested for participating in a crime spree that ended this weekend at a Queens Dunkin' Donuts with a pistol-whipping instead of an ass-tapping. Thankfully, it was not a Tim Hortons.

Chain Links 7/14/09

American, Laura Shapiro, loves dreary-stodgy British food but has gained an appreciation for all the new healthy fast food chains. [Gourmet.com]

A 2,500-square-foot 7-Eleven is coming to 103 W. 14th Street. [New York Times]

Top 400 Chains: The Quiz [R&I]

Ruth Madoff not only eats at California Pizza Kitchen, she uses coupons.  [New York Post]

Chain Link: Tim Hortons

Timbits I cannot wait for the Clam and Ham combos and boxes of Timbits to invade Manhattan. I don't really even eat doughnuts (I really want to type donut) but Tim Hortons (love the unnecessary unapostrophed S) reminds me of being on vacation. And with all the poutine swarming the city, we might just have a mini Montreal on our hands.

I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that my boyfriend's mom gives him stuffed animals or that he keeps them. He used to have a toy rabbit we named Tim Horton but I haven't seen the thing in years. Ok, maybe naming stuffed animals is the worst.

Timbit photo from Good Deed a Day

Sonic Boom

Sonic_drive-in I see a most amazing two-fer in my future. I normally stick to Middlesex County on my weekend New Jersey excursions but I will have to make an exception for the new Sonic that just opened a mere 18 miles from my home. Those ads for candy topped Sonic Blasts have been taunting me for too long.

What would make it the ultimate experience, though, would be to ultimately end up at P.F. Chang's in West, NJ just 11 miles from the Sonic. This chain, that I imagine being the Cheesecake Factory of Asian food, has also been elusive and on my radar forever.

Speaking of, there was just an odd bit on NPR from a former Saveur editor (why did I know she would be wearing a pashmina?) about going to the Cheesecake Factory for her eleventh anniversary. My tenth (dating) anniversary is creeping up. I was thinking about maybe Corton or Marea but who needs a $100+ per person tasting menu when P.F. Chang's offers a $39.95 four-course "Chang's for Two?"

Soupy Sales

Cheddarbroccoli For reasons not even entirely clear to myself, I enjoy hearing what consumers want to eat (yet never lump myself in with this faceless mass of Americans).

According to a recent series of reports, "The Left Side of the Menu," from Technomic, the number of "heavy" (not defined) consumers of appetizers is shrinking. Big salad eaters shrunk from 51% in 2007 to a current 33%. The soup-crazed stood at 25% two years ago but now only make up 15% of all diners. I'm guessing that's probably because it's hard to split soup, and I'm with the whopping 82% who feel appetizers should be shared.

But the number I'm trying to figure out is the 40% of Americans who want more "ethnic soups." What exactly is an ethnic soup? Something like pho? Laksa? Menudo? Does Italian wedding soup count? I think they used to serve that at Ikea. I vote for cock-a-leekie.

I took a look at the online menus from the top five casual chain restaurants in 2008 according to Restaurants & Institutions:

  1. Applebee's: chili, French onion soup, tomato-basil. Hmm, Tex-Mex, French and Italian. It all sounds pretty ethnic to me.
  2. Chili’s: chili (duh) and “soup of the day.” Lame.
  3. T.G.I. Friday’s: broccoli cheese, French onion and once again, the dreaded soup of the day.
  4. Ruby Tuesday: white bean chicken chili or broccoli and cheese.
  5. Cheesecake Factory: soup of the day.

Ok, not only are we clearly in need of more ethnic soups, how about something other than chili (if you even count that as a soup), French onion and cheese and broccoli?