Posts from the ‘Chains of Love’ Category
Oct 30
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Chain Links: Big Mac Attack
All the hubbub over the McDonald’s in the Louvre appears to be unfounded. The average Parisian doesn’t give a merde about Big Macs tainting France’s culinary traditions.
McDonald’s, which has had a presence in Iceland since 1993, isn’t faring quite so well. They’ll be closing all restaurants in the country at the end of October.
The Great Wall of Chocolate
I’m afraid things have a been a little quiet over here. I’ve been temporarily preoccupied with the new baby, Chains of Love. Yes, there are some subjects only a blog mother can love. If you’ve always wondered what goes on in a P.F. Chang’s, here’s your chance to find out. I discovered a surprising amount of Chinese diners and Morrissey playing in the background.
P.F. Chang’s
Did I love it? Not until I had a few drinks in me and they began playing Morrissey (godspeed).
It’s hard to judge a restaurant like P.F. Chang’s. Compared to the Americanized Chinese food found on every NYC block, it’s better on many levels. While it’s pointless pitting it against Chinese Chinese food, I’d go as far as saying it’s a suburban Shun Lee Palace. Less finesse and history, sure, but you’ll get similar garishness and fanfare at a fraction of the price.
For comparison, P.F. Chang’s has Philip’s better lemon chicken, “Lightly dusted and quick-fried chicken served with broccoli in a tart, sweet citrus sauce” for $12.95 while Shun Lee Palace has $26.95 lemon chicken “Chicken breast coated with egg batter and rolled in water chestnut flour then fried till crispy, served with shredded lemon and a velvety lemon sauce.” Ok, the latter does sound more alluring but I do wonder how different the two really are. And who eats lemon chicken, anyway?
Do not fool yourself into thinking this is Chinese food for those who can’t handle it or are unable to discern the real thing. Initially, I was surprised at the number of multi-generational Chinese families waiting for tables at P.F. Chang’s, but it’s kind of silly to think that Chinese in America would only eat at restaurants with fluorescent lighting and delivery guys on bicycles.
Normally, I’m not one for sweet cocktails but you feel obligated to order one at a fancy chain. The lucky cat martini, despite containing vanilla vodka, pineapple juice and Chambord, wasn’t that sugary. In fact, it was actually kind of bitter even though that makes no sense.
The dumpling heavy dim sum platter wasn’t anything special. They steamed, filled crescents of dough weren’t mushy but the fillings were all kind of dull and flat. Beef seemed indiscernible from pork and I prefer whole shrimp over a ground mousse. I do appreciate a crab wonton, though. The most fun was playing with the numerous sauces (there was an additional set off to the side). I’m a sucker for condiments even though the sauce they mix for you of hot mustard, soy sauce and chile paste seems kind of haphazard. What’s wrong with eating each of those on their own?
The entrees were stronger than the appetizers. Orange peel shrimp was tasty in that candied, crisp fried way that makes sesame chicken and general Tso chicken so appealing. The peel’s bitterness did help balance the sweetness.
Chengdu spiced lamb contained thick, tender hunks of something. I’m not fully convinced that this beefy tasting meat was lamb at all. Even though this dish wasn’t really like any Sichuan lamb I’ve had–it wasn’t particularly cuminy or spicy– it was kind of good in its own way. The meat had a charred smokiness and the sauce had an unidentifiable savoriness, perhaps from a bean based chile paste.
$2 mini desserts seem to be the thing now. I also noticed them at Carrabba’s. And they do suck you in. I would’ve said no to after dinner sweets but how much harm could a small treat cause? James had the small Great Wall of Chocolate. My incongruous lemon tres leches cake was confusing at it sounded. It was more like lemon pudding layered with graham cracker crumbs and reminded me of the desserts you find in Cooking Light. I frequently use the magazine for mid-week meals but their sweets are disappointing.
I got an eyeful of the plastic display Great Wall of Chocolate cake on its round metal tray on the way out and I’m almost convinced that you could spot it from outer space (urban myth be damned) it was that large. Mini desserts were wise.
One chain hallmark is the music piped outdoors for the pleasure of patrons quoted one-hour-waits while being handed chunky plastic beepers. As I assessed this gargantuan horse statue of indeterminate dynasty, Suedehead was playing. The video with Morrissey gadding about Fairmont, Indiana, James Dean’s hometown, tracing the young actor’s steps, making a pop culture icon personal, an outsider surrounding himself in artifacts of no import. Riding a lawnmower, sitting astride an Indian bike, reading James Whitcomb Riley in a barn, passing time in a diner…um, and playing bongos in a cow field.
Immersing myself in East Coast suburbs is a pilgrimage of my own. I can’t help it that I get swept up eating American-Chinese food in New Jersey.
P.F. Chang’s * 3545 US Hwy. 1, Princeton, NJ
First There Was Cake Batter Ice Cream
Photo from less apathy more cake
Yes, the internets have been abuzz over the Japanese Burger King’s Windows 7 Whopper. That’s an impressive novelty to be sure.
But why am I just now hearing about the Burger King cupcake shake? It appears that the cupcake trend has finally began to trickle down to the fast food arena. First, red velvet cupcakes quietly showed up in Southern California Taco Bells and now this.
When do you think fast food joints will start deploying food trucks? Northwest chain, Burgerville, already has a Nomad.
Chain Links: Korean Chicken & Waffles
Fast food is still nascent in North Korea. Singaporean chain Waffletown has begun slinging their namesake treat along with fries, hotdogs and yes, fried chicken, in Pyongyang.
Meanwhile, Singapore is in advanced chain-ification stages. Heavy hitters Daniel Boulud, Mario Batali and Guy Savoy, among others, are opening high end outposts under one roof, a Vegas-style resort.
Boulud is going totally wild with Asian expansion. If I was a chef, I would apply for one of these openings in Beijing, Singapore, Hong Kong and Shanghai.
Big Burger, Little Burger
Ad Age has a nice visual round-up of all the big burgers on the scene. Carl’s Jr.’s $6 Burger that launched in ye olde days of 2001 almost seems quaint now.
Meanwhile, I went back in time this weekend and tried a more petite Kaiser roll slider at White Rose System in Roselle, New Jersey, just one of many Garden State diners still griddle-steaming. Fortuitously, I ended up driving past another exemplary specimen in this genre, White Diamond in Clark, just a few hours after this lunch.
Unfortunately, I can’t speak at length about this slider and the experience because I became inexplicably and violently sick en route to New Jersey and could only pick at my burger and crinkle cut fries. I would’ve just chalked this up to random illness if the exact same thing hadn’t happened the last time we made a Saturday afternoon New Jersey trip in early September. I’m starting to think this is a case for House M.D.
The first time this happened, I was fine until we got onto Route 1 and out of nowhere began sweating so bad my hair became soaking wet and my head started spinning. I managed to accomplish one of my shopping tasks, buying hair color at Sally Beauty Supply but had to run outside because I felt vomit coming on. I couldn’t find a place to puke so went into the nearby Wal-Mart looking for a bathroom, then became extremely dizzy and disoriented. Ultimately, we had to turn around and head the 20 miles home.
This time I started getting sweaty, dizzy and nauseous within five minutes of getting into the car, before we even got on the BQE. By the time we got to White Rose System, a good 45-minutes-later, I was burning up and my stomach was jumping around. We stopped at Walgreen’s and picked up Dramamine, all I can think is that that I have a problem with motion sickness (as I kid I got car sick constantly, not so much as an adult). After taking a few pills and sitting in a freezing car with my eyes closed for 25 minutes while James was in Trader Joe’s I perked up a bit. The rest of the day I was sleepy and had the chills but at least didn’t feel like puking. I’m still sad that I didn’t get to enjoy my slider.
The odd thing is that we drive at least once a week, all over Queens and Brooklyn, and I never get sick. It’s only been the last two times we’ve gone to New Jersey. If this happens a third time, I’m really going to be baffled. In the mean time, I’m keeping a stash of Dramamine and Tums in the glove compartment and hoping I don’t have a brain tumor.
Baby Back Ribs for Billionaires
I’m not one to dwell on the economy. When you don’t have money to lose, it’s much less scary.
But it’s hard to ignore a publication like Bloomberg reviewing Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl. According to the author, arts and culture editor Yvette Fernandez, “chain restaurants for people on a budget (like me).” (It’s always weird when people write in publications they are employed by about money issues.) The round-up also includes NYC chains like Red Lobster, Outback Steakhouse, Hooter’s, California Pizza Kitchen, T.G.I. Friday’s, Applebee’s And Houston’s. Definitely all the biggies. Ruby Tuesday being the only glaring midtown omission.
The only thing I really learned from this article is that Hooter’s serves tater tots, a potatoey treat I wish I saw more often on menus.
In Other Words: Chains Are So Bad They’re Good
The world (ok, a tiny portion of it) is already critiquing/panning/mocking new critic Sam Sifton’s first review, a pop culture riddled two-star take on DBGB.
Me, I’m more focused on his favorable comparison of the ribs at Cowgirl Sea-Horse to Applebee’s riblets.
Chain Links: China Syndrome
Dunkin’ Donuts plans 480 stores in Mainland China over the next ten years. Green tea donuts and mochi rings for all. [Food Business Review]
Dairy Queen blows DD away with their vow to open 500 locations (they already have 200) in China over the next five years. We don’t even have Dairy Queen in NYC yet. [QSR Magazine]
Sinophile Miley Cyrus didn’t tip on a $70 Outback Steakhouse bill. It’s not as if teenagers have ever been known for their sensitivity. [New York Daily News]
