Skip to content

Posts from the ‘Chains of Love’ Category

Chain Links: Skinny Pirates

Bahama breeze

What is it with D.C.? The nation’s capitol got Nando’s first and now the Asian Chipotle, ShopHouse Southeast Asian Kitchen, will open there this summer. I don’t have high hopes, but would be happy if their dishes weren’t over 1,000 calories.

No one will care but me (not even my friend who lives in Woodbridge) but Bahama Breeze, the boozy Caribbean concept from Darden, is coming to Woodbridge, NJ, a town I find myself in at least once a month. Up until now, the nearest location was in Cherry Hill, which I only know because we had the restaurant as a client during my brief 2006 stint at a PR agency and a bunch of unbearable women in my department took a field trip that I only got out of because I had to go to Wales for my sister’s wedding. Two hours each way by car service, and I probably would’ve quit on the spot instead of waiting one more month. I probably wouldn't been forced to drink a Skinny Pirate (Captain Morgans and Diet Coke) though I wouldn't say no to a wood-grilled chorizo slider.

P.F. Chang’s is going to Canada. They may as well.

Turkey just opened its first Carl’s Jr. in the Cevahir Shopping Mall. The mall appears to already have Popeye’s, Starbucks, McDonald’s, KFC, Subway, Krispy Kreme, Sbarro and Pizza Hut (it doesn’t look like the Turkish have gone Chinese with the salad bars yet).

Everyone wants to break into India, including Pollo Tropical, Rita’s Water Ice, Applebee’s, Johnny Rockets, Wendy’s, Arby’s, Carl’s Jr., Crepes and Coffee, Moe's Southwest Grill, Carvel and Denny’s. The latter will have menus “stripped free of beef and pork,” which makes me very concerned that Mumbai will never experience Moons Over My Hammy.

Chain Links: Snobs Unite

Mediterranean-Diet It’s touchy—and humorous—business when Pulitzer Prize winners review chain restaurants. I should point the delusional Carrabba’s commenter who said I was “the snobbiest restaurant reviewer ever” to Jonathan “I will always be the snob” Gold’s take on Olive Garden.

I love a good debunking, so I was happy to hear that the Mediterranean diet is a myth and that everyone on the region is fat and 75% of Greeks are overweight. I was more happy, though, to learn about the existence of Roadster Diner, an American-themed chain in Beirut. Why can’t cheese fries coexist with hummus and grilled eggplant?

Nando’s, the South African grilled chicken chain that’s popular in much of the world, (I ate at, but never blogged about the one in Penang) is reportedly going to expand in the US beyond its three measly D.C.-area locations. Where? That’s not revealed.

Apparently, there is a South African restaurant called 10 Degrees South in Atlanta that could be turned into in a national chain if one of the founders of Houston’s has anything to do with it. Will piri piri be the new chipotle?

We Can All Get Along in Cheddar Bay

Menu-lighthouse-callout The Atlanta Post, an African-American news site, attempts “Understanding Red Lobster’s Popularity Among Black Diners.” Dubious conclusion: blacks eat more fried fish than whites. Commenters not happy.

Somehow, not even at my suggestion, I ended up at a Red Lobster on Long Island the first weekend I moved to NYC, nearly 13 years ago. I (sometimes) hate perpetrating stereotypes, but yes, my group of four near-strangers was the only white party in the entire restaurant, a change for someone who had been living in the whitest city in America, days earlier. I figured that was just New York, not Red Lobster, specifically. I didn't know about the allure of fried fish.

Nearly unrelated: it always weirds me out how in Singapore they use the terms Jap food and Jap restaurant innocently.

National Republic of Food

Food_Republic_Suntec_City_2010

There is a new site called Food Republic that’s messing with my mind (so is Eataly's soon-to-open La Birreria, which I always read as birrieria and get excited that NYC's getting a Mexican goat soup restaurant) not because it’s yet one more thing Marcus Samuelsson has been dipping his colorful sneaker-shod toes into, but because Food Republic is the name of Singaporean chain of themed food courts that I love. Really love. A food court with a library motif in a massive mall? I fantasize about making like those Thai girls who brought BonChon to Bangkok and opening a franchise in NYC.

Of course, serious food-lovers and expats, in particular, hate these soulless, overpriced, contemporary adaptations of hawker stalls. This week, CNNgo wound up commenters with a “Singapore’s Top 5 New Hawker Spots” post where three of the five examples were Food Republic branches. I think the title is the biggest problem; it needs a qualifier like modern or indoor.

Me, I like the elaborate, air-conditioned evolution and street carts and worn shophouses. What I find fascinating—and what others might call sad—is that many of these vendors are street stall transplants. For instance, the beef noodles sold at Food Opera, the food court inside the ION Orchard Shopping Mall, aren’t approximations churned out by a no-nothing upstart, they are the fourth iteration of a stall that opened in the 1940s. Then again, the most recent version was relocated to the mall because the owner’s spot was subsumed by a new apartment complex. Progress over preservation, is still the order of the day in much of Asia’s urban centers.

Singapore has always come across as a bit sanitized and un-sentimental, and I don't necessarily mean that pejoratively. I wonder if they have neighborhood booster bloggers like we do in NYC, who mourn the loss of old signage, mom-and-pop businesses and last-century grit?

Photo credit: WiNG via Wikimedia Commons

China’s Salad Days Are Over

Saladtower

When not competing with Dubai or Taiwan over skyscraper records, the Chinese are (or were, rather) gaming the one-trip-only salad bar at Pizza Hut by devising elaborate vertical stacking. The company phased out the self-serve stations in 2009, likely due to customers’ creative plating.

Can a person really eat that quantity of cucumbers? And do you really want to taste peaches, corn and salad dressing in the same bite?

Photo from frites & fries

As Long As the Bloomin Onion Remains the Same

Norules It’s spring cleaning season for chains. It seems like just yesterday  that Olive Garden was talking Tuscan farmhouse revamps. Now, Outback Steakhouse promises a new look for up to 150 stores.

What this look might be is a mystery. Three years ago, OSI announced the very same remodeling plan, only explaining the style as a “bolder, more contemporary look” that in March 2008 had been implemented in two Florida units and one in Butler, NJ. Am I really going to have to drive 35 miles to see what they’re talking about in person?

Oh, thank goodness for search engines—I’ve actually posted shots of the not-so-new Outback Steakhouse design, myself. I still might check out Butler, NJ, though.

Not-So-Extreme Makeover: Olive Garden Edition

Og Just as Red Lobster is gradually transforming restaurants into a Bar Harbor, Maine pastiche, Olive Garden is remodeling more locations into that Tuscan farmhouse style you only see in the suburbs and that branch in Starrett City. How will the classy, understated Chelsea branch handle the change?

The thing is, that this American Italian fantasy look was introduced in 2000. Can you really call something 11 years old a “new model?”

Chain Links: Chuck E. Queso

Pardos-chicken-survey-22-march Subway in India serves sandwiches I would actually consider eating (and mint and eggless mayo are offered). The Chicken Seekh uses ground meat, mint and chiles.  I wonder if they have Otis Spunkmeyer cookies spiked with rose water or cardamom?

McDonald’s has never been a slouch in the localized menu department. They too, are appealing to Indians with a new Spicy Delights range.

A blogger in Peru happened to recognize the wife of the Pardo’s founder during a tai chi class and interviewed her. Pardo’s is kind of like the KFC of Peru, but the chicken is rotisseried, not fried. We briefly had one in the West Village that surprisingly kept anticuchos (grilled beef hearts) on the menu. In an informal poll, Pardo’s beat out competitors by a wide margin. I want to eat a place called Norky's, based on name alone.

Once you let in a Chili’s, the franchises will follow. Moscow now has a Pinkberry. Doesn’t $11 (even for a large) seem like a lot of money for frozen yogurt?

Nothing seems more American than Chuck E. Cheese’s, so it’s strange to see the pizza and playtime chain crossing borders. Northeastern Mexico will be receiving ten stores. Internationally, the restaurant already exists in Chile, Guatemala, Saudi Arabia and the UAE.

Zambia now has a KFC. I’m kind of more interested in the related post, “Lightning kills clergyman, man kills woman over chicken debt.”

Red Lobster will be arriving in Dubai and Kuwait City. No alcohol is no surprise and the bacon-wrapped scallop appetizer will have to go, as well.

Korean Chicken Joints For Thai Palettes

Thaibonchon

We’ve come to take Korean fried chicken for granted in NYC. It’s everywhere, even Sheepshead Bay (r.i.p. Staten Island BonChon) not just in Asian enclaves. We’ve been luckier than Thailand where the spicy, extra-crunchy chicken did not exist…until now.

A couple of Thai college students who went to school here wanted to recreate the experience back home. They followed through (how do you just open a foreign chain like that?) and now Bangkok has witnessed the birth of its first BonChon Chicken franchise in the Seenspace mall (I wonder how that Goth mall is doing?) and it has a New York theme, which is so triply cross-cultural it’s almost freaking me out (just almost, because I did eat Korean fried chicken at a place called Chill Out Sports Bar in Hong Kong that had New York-based articles on the wall, so this is not the first re-import back to Asia).

Chicken joints From what I can see on the menu, which is only on Facebook (I love how the one white guy in their photos had to be wearing a fedora) at the moment, the only obvious Thai tweak is the presence of sticky rice and the only oddity is something they’re calling chicken joints. Pardon my poultry ignorance, but what part of the bird is this?

I only wish that my eyes had not seen the words “Thai palette” mentioned in the original post.

Photo credit: BonChon Chicken Thailand

Dallas BBQ Rego Park

1/2 Who says advertising doesn’t work? After my first two subway sign encounters with the words Dallas BBQ superimposed over the familiar red flames, my attention was peaked. And Rego Park? Queens’ first outpost definitely required investigation.

The most sprawling, modern and mildly clubby—glass-encased liquor bottles as room dividers are a prominent design feature—incarnation yet, this branch right off the LIE is part of a relatively new shopping complex that houses a not crowded Century 21, an awkward to get to Costco and bare bones Aldi, Trader Joe’s no frills German parent company (I only bought American cheese, bratwursts and a box of frozen cheese wontons).

Rego park dallas bbq

Clearly, the area was desperately in need of cheap ribs and colorful drinks because even on the early side of Saturday night, the industrial-carpeted foyer was crammed with the antsy and expectant. By the time we left, crowd control was in full effect and a hostess had brought out the bullhorn. Stampede!

Dallas bbq saturday night

Sam Sifton’s recent multi-culti portrait of Red Rooster painted a feel good image of the new Harlem. I’ll give you a celeb restaurant in an underserved neighborhood and raise you a Dallas BBQ. There’s no more NYC a restaurant than this. Staten Island is now the only borough suffering without one. Sure, it’s a chain, but it’s our chain and we love it. Applebee’s and Chili’s could learn a thing or two from them.

Just in my noisy corner of the complex sat Korean-American dudes with pitchers of beer, their dates barely touching their food, frozen drinks melting. To my left was a black, teetotaling mother and daughter downing chicken fingers and giant goblets of cola with nearly an entire jar of maraschino cherries floating in each. On my other side, colorful drinks for all four diners and two massive double cheeseburgers destined for one hungry woman. A multigenerational Chinese family sprawled across four pushed-together tables while an elderly couple conversed in Russian. No one thinks twice about looking like a glutton and men aren’t afraid to order pink cocktails. Merely convivial or debauched, it’s hard to say. The judgmental aren’t welcome at Dallas BBQ.

Dallas bbq cocktails

For me, at least, the fruity, neon frozen drinks overshadow the food. As someone who has to minimize my sugar intake and prefers a dry, stiff cocktail anyway, their pantheon of syrupy “Texas-sized” concoctions provide a welcome respite. It is wholly possible to burn out on artisanal moonshine, mole bitters and hand-carved ice. I nearly succumbed to our server’s promotional recommendation of a passion fruit-swirled pina colada served with both a shot of Alize and Hennessy (they also serve Hennessy wings and the spirit is prominently featured in the above mentioned wall displays—I don’t know if they’re getting kickbacks or if they’ve merely determined that their audience really likes a particular cognac). Instead, I started with the Texas-sized pina colada, then wisely moved onto a regular-sized Blue Hawaii with a shot of rum in a green plastic test tube half-buried in the creamy surface. Less slush, more alcohol is the sweet spot.

Dallas bbq onion loaf

I’m glad that they now serve a smaller version of the onion loaf, which shared between two will still knock you out. The matted stack of thinly sliced battered rings is a must. Could you eat at Outback Steakhouse and ignore the Bloomin’ Onion? You’d better not say no.

Dallas bbq ribs & shrimp

I don’t want to say the namesake barbecue is superfluous, but no one’s going to mistake their pulled pork, beef brisket or babyback ribs for lovingly smoked meat in the style of Memphis, Kansas City, Texas, North Carolina or whichever region you prefer. Tangy-sweet, saucy to the point of ensuring stained clothing and tender, the ribs are perfectly edible, even if they’ve never seen the inside of a smoker. Normally, I would get the $11.99 (most of the menu is under $12) ribs and chicken combo, but we already had a box of Korean fried chicken sitting in the car. I definitely did not need the fried shrimp with tartar sauce. Fries (you can have yellow rice—so very Latino—or a classic American baked potato as a side) and a square of cornbread ensure you get your recommended dose of starch.

When I talk my love of chain restaurants, Dallas BBQ exemplifies what I mean. You go for the experience, not for culinary fireworks. I only ate a fourth of my ribs (which of course I took home for later) because absorbing the genuine New Yorkness while picking at fried onions and sipping sweet, highly alcoholic drinks is fun in itself. The fat and sugar may be gnawing at my organs, but it’s emotionally nutritive being in the thick of things—even when the swell of humanity can be grotesque.

Dallas BBQ * 61-35 Junction Blvd., Rego Park, NY